Roads Home
by The PTB's Red Fox
Summary: Following her win things just don't go the way she plans: the continued story of Ariana Crane. This is the sequel to "The 69th Annual Hunger Games" haven't read it? Go. Read. Now!
1. A Victor's Burden

**Disclaimer**: I don't own The Hunger Games

**Author's Note**: Greetings! So here it is the first of three sequels, it's a doozy and as much as I loved writing the 69th this was a lot more fun…Don't forget that pretty little window at the bottom! And like the 69th I do this chapter by chapter, so some will be super short and some will be monster chapters. Enjoy!

**NOTE ON REVIEWS:** like I said in the 69th the "write more" or "write faster" is a complete turn off….wanna get me revved up? Tell me what you like! Nothing gets me going like people telling me what they think of certain things happening. Signed reviews are awesome! I can thank y'all in cyber-person! Never fear non-members I allow guests to review too!

Chapter One

A Victor's Burden

I stand at the window watching the scenery whip by at an unnatural pace. I have come to loath trains and this is only my second time on them.

The first was to set me in the hunger games, to watch as friends and acquaintances died from exposure, snake bite or each other.

The second is taking me home, without Farrow.

I had had a mild panic attack seeing the train. My heart raced and my legs gave out. I'm grateful that the cameras did not catch that, Seneca was fast enough to pick me up and carry me on. He hushed me and said I was okay, that we were going home. It was hard believing until now.

I hadn't said much since the night after 'the final word'. Mainly 'goodnight' and that was about it. I know I am worrying him, and Tracker and Perruse. I know I should care but I feel when I left the arena part of me that did care was left in that sandy arid wasteland. Along with friends that I barely knew and wished I knew better.

"Are you hungry Ariana?" Perruse asks, "of course you are! You hardly touched your breakfast before we left! Why don't you come and sit and eat with us?"

She is right, I should eat, even if I don't enjoy it. Even the fresh strawberries they managed to get just for me, because I liked them, because it was a gift Seneca sent me on my birthday.

Because I was in the arena when I turned fourteen.

I turn away from the blurring landscapes and go to the table. Seneca sits beside me and asks what I want. I don't know how to answer that, my mind isn't focused on the cakes, pastries and meats that are laid out. Tracker gets a hot chocolate for me, and I sip at it. They all looked worried I should say something.

"I'm fine" I say, "just…worn out I guess" then try and hide my solemn frown behind my mug.

"I would think so, the idea of treating you like the older tributes appalls me! I will have to talk to the game makers when I return" Perusse says

Seneca has sliced some strawberries onto a cream cheese laden piece of French bread. I manage to eat it but just barely. I feel awful, I must look a site. Since I came out of the games I hadn't slept much, Darwin was only able to knock me out by pulling up a torrential rainstorm on the view screen, and even then I only manage a couple hours.

"Let's get you to bed" my brother says, "we should be home tomorrow afternoon"

He scoops me up and Tracker brings my hot chocolate with us. Sen tucks me in and sits beside me, he looks to Tracker who nods and leaves us alone in my room.

"You are worrying me squirt" he says, "please Ari tell me what's wrong?"

I can't answer I just look at him saddened and weary.

He sighs and makes to get up but I grab his wrist. He winces, my grip had gotten stronger since I returned from the arena. I don't say anything but the look I give him gets him to sit back down. He sits on the bed and rubs my back until I drift off.

I get shaken several hours later, Tracker is holding me on the shoulder calling my name and I hear myself screaming. I finally calm down enough and start to cry.

"What happened?" Seneca looks at Tracker worry knitting his brow.

"Nightmares" Tracker says, "at least you start to scream, one victor actually stopped breathing, literally paralyzed her with fear and she almost died from lack of oxygen" he hushes me, "its okay Ariana, its just in your head"

"I want it out" I whimper I rub my eyes and I feel tears have streaked my face, "I want it all out of my head"

It seems to give Seneca an idea; he disappears, and returns with a notebook and pencils.

"Here" he puts them in front of me, "remember when you had that nightmare that I was reaped and you saw me die? What did we do then?"

I sniffle, my voice is heavy, "I drew it then we burnt the picture to ash"

"And you felt better after right?" Seneca looks at me hopeful, and he's right I had felt a little better back then I nod. "Well let's do that again, I am sure there is a fireplace or we can use a jet in the kitchen to incinerate the picture after"

I am barely listening, my hand grasps a pencil and I am drawing the snakes and their fangs and the bloated bodies, a gruesome blackened limb reaching out as if thru the paper to grasp me. I rip the sheet out and hand it to Seneca about ten minutes later. He looks at Perusse, "can I burn this?"

"Why ever for? It's remarkable pencil work!" Perusse says taking it, "don't destroy it!"

Tracker growls and sighs at the same time and takes it into the bathroom, he disables the smoke alarm takes out his lighter and lights the drawing putting it in the shower stall to turn to ask.

"Why did you do that?" Perusse rushes in and looks saddened by the destruction, "that was so wasteful; people would pay good money for those sketches!"

I feel slightly better, and I decide to draw some more, this time to keep. I start on a sketch of Farrow but I can feel my body wanting to sleep again and my pencil slips a bit.

Tracker takes the pencil and notebook and sets it aside, "you can get back to it later, have a rest sweetheart" he says calmly.

I nod and Seneca lies on top of the comforter and wraps me in his arms. I am out like a light.


	2. A Solution

**Disclaimer:** If I owned The Hunger Games I wouldn't be writing Fanfiction now would I?

**Author's Note:** thanks to me reviewers **KL10X, Arrow, KitKat1D**, and of course **JB**

Chapter 2

A Solution

Drawing has helped; I wake early on the second day of travel and feel hungry and better than I have felt in weeks. Seneca is gone but there is a glass of orange juice on my night table that I down in seconds. I go to the washroom to clean up and someone has washed the ash down the drain. It reminds me of the portrait of Farrow I was doing. I finish washing up get changed in jeans, blouse and sandals and take my notebook and pencil to the dining area. No one is up yet; the clock reads 5:30 am. I shrug and settle down at the table to work.

By seven the rest are up and I have finished Farrow and have started on one of Maverick sitting at the opening of our hideout looking out at the sky.

"I think we know your talent" Perusse enters yawning, "when did you learn to draw like that?"

"She was six when mom first saw her scribbling" Seneca says from the doorway, he comes over and rests his chin on my shoulder, he has to stoop but he smiles. I don't see it but I know he is, I am so engrossed in making sure shadows are placed properly and perspective is properly done. "That's maverick isn't it?" he says.

My pencil stops mid hex mark, "yes" I say softly

"It's good" he says, "my brotherly counterpart in the games"

I snap the pencil I was using in half with my thumb, I can feel my bottom lip tremble ever so faintly.

"I miss him" I say so quietly only Seneca hears me, he squeezes my shoulder in reassurance, he knows. He takes the broken pencil and gets me a new one.

"It's okay, this is how you remember him" he touches the notepad and hands me a freshly sharpened pencil, "did you finish Farrow?"

I nod and turn back a page.

There he stands with a big grin on his face leaning against a wall.

"That is remarkable" Perusse says

"What is?" Tracker comes in yawning and glances at the drawing, "you should show how big he is by putting something smaller beside him, because that's how I remember him, this huge stalky teenager that made you look so tiny in comparison"

"She can do others, heck we have enough money to do anything now" Seneca says, "we could spoil you rotten squirt, what do you say?"

I don't reply I am placing a dog sitting beside Farrow.

"Don't interrupt an artist at work" Perusse chirps as she places a glass of juice in my periphery, "my cousin has a friend who is an expert designer, he's going to join the ranks or stylists in a couple years, but he has a wonderful talent for drawing like Ariana, and she told me you shouldn't disturb them" I can feel her wanting to look at my sketches and I feel wrong letting her see them. In fact I don't like her on principal. She is too capital for my liking, I only like Darwin and my prep team. I close my notebook and set about grabbing eggs, toast and bacon and making a sandwich of it.

"Its good to see you eating kiddo" Tracker smiles as he pours himself some coffee, I show interest and he lets me taste it, its bitter and I make a face, he chuckles, "maybe you will do better with your juice for now, or Seneca can make you tea or we can order a hot chocolate" my eyes light up at the last words and he chuckles again ordering one for both Seneca and I.

"Did you sleep better?" Seneca asks

I nod, "better than lately I guess" I bite into my breakfast sandwich, "I feel better after we torched that picture yesterday" I add mouth full. I can feel Perusse wince at my bad table manners but I feel rebellious and I don't quite care what she thinks.

"Good! Now we know how to get you to relax and sleep now" My brother looks pleased.

It might not be a permanent solution but if I can do this each night or every other night I might get over the horrors I see.


	3. What D'Ya Wanna Do Kid?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own The Hunger Games, get over it!

**Author's Note:** thanks go out to my reviewers, **Arrow, Kitkat and JB**

Chapter 3

What D'Ya Wanna Do Kid?

When we arrive home the whole district is out in force as the train pulls in.

Tracker gets some peacekeepers to make a path for us to get out and everyone wants to shake my hand or hug me. It's a weird feeling, like I have done them a great service. We only stop briefly at the community home to say goodbye to Mrs. Goldfar and the kids that still live there, then Tracker takes us to victor's village. A dozen huge houses are set up in a cul-de-sac formation with a green space that has a Joshua tree at its center. I sit at the edge looking at this desert plant, and remember my lessons from dad, and then I remember how those lessons saved my life in the games. A sense of calm washes over me and I start to get an understanding of what happened and I am not frightened or upset.

"Come on Ari!" Seneca is calling me in; I look to where he is standing and head inside.

This house is massive, the door opens to stairs going up in front of me and to my right is a living room with couch and chairs covered in suede. I hear from the back someone doing something and I head over.

Hellen is cooking in our kitchen. A kettle is boiling and she is humming to herself. When she turns I startle her and she grabs her chest.

"Ariana!" she jumps clear out of her skin, I stand there non pelused but I can't help it when my poker face breaks into a cheeky smile as I run and hug her.

I must catch her off guard because at first she doesn't know what to do or say then she rests her hands on my back and returns the hug. "Good job sweety" she says softly to me, "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you"

"It's okay" I reply, "I understand now"

She gets me to look at her, "you haven't been sleeping properly have you?"

"Only had a couple good nights but its okay I think I will sleep better now that I'm home" I reply

She nods and gives me a glass of milk and we sit at the butcher block table. "I hope you will" she says looking at me, "I know I had the worst time the first couple months back, and then the victor's tour brought it all back"

"What do I do at these things?" I ask, "do I get to meet the ex tributes families?"

Hellen looks confused, "well yes and no, they have special seats for when you are presented but you don't actually talk to them personally" when I look disappointed she tilts her head, "why do you want to meet them? Some might hate you"

I shrug in response, "I just…I don't like Perusse and the other capital people, if I have to spend a lot of time with them I think I'll be sick"

Hellen nods sagely and gives a small chuckle, "okay, well at my tour and at Trackers we were presented we say a speech we wrote or is pre-made then it's a tour of the dictrict and a big diner with the mayor and your entourage" she pauses, "I don't think you'll like that, what would you want to do?"

Now it's my turn to tilt my head, "I have a choice?"

Hellen smirks, "of course you have a choice sweety, we just have to make sure it doesn't anger the capital"

"Why? What happens if we do?" I ask she just shakes her head

"I don't think we will run into problems, so you have a couple months vacation to do whatever you want, anything darling, what is your wish?" she asks

Its at that time I am staring at the Joshua tree that sits in plain view of my living room window, "I want to learn to heal people"

Two months pass and I cover all of my secondary studies in earnest, we hire a private tutor because after my first week back at school I can't concentrate when everyone is staring at me. Its better this way I have to say, Mr Finch is a great tutor and we zip thru courses in record time. He is the morning routine, afternoons I sketch and Hellen comes over and we discuss plans. Plans on continuing my studies, plans for the tour, plans for after the tour. WE agree that I can attend the next games but she will take care of mentor duties if I don't feel up for it.

"Besides" she says, "the real fun in getting to know other victors" she smiles, "Finnick said he can't wait to meet you face to face"

"Well Finnick is the least of my worries" I say

My inspiration for what I want my tours to be comes when Seneca graduates. We decided to throw a barbecue for his class and their families, we have the money to do this now, it becomes such the event that most of the district shows up with what they can spare, the 'outlet' meaning the poorer part of town comes too and we don't shun them away. Everyone eats, someone gets going with pipe music and there is dancing and laughter and…it's perfect…this is what I want my tour to be, a party everyone can be at, not just the wealthy.

When I describe it to Hellen she hugs me, it's a very noble idea and she will fight to get it for me. She heads for the capital the next evening calling me every night to tell me what's going on. I get calls from people in the capital who ask what this entails for each districts. Who can come? Who cannot? What supplies will each district need and how much it will cost. Tracker takes care of a lot of this, he's especially good with the money questions, most of it we can absorb leaving only a couple hundred dollars or there about that the mayoral office can easily pick up. I ask that they bring what they can, things native to their district, and if they aren't in a food district then entertainment or something they can share with everyone.

My tour starts just as the Joshua tree starts to flower. The previous day Darwin and my prep team come with outfits for each district, we don't always go for dresses much to Darwin's disappointment but I do allow him a few. Jubilee and I chatter away as she does my nails, while Ruby and Farious tell me what's been going on in the Capital. A camera crew arrives a little after lunch to see my 'talent'.

I leave sketch books open all over my living room, they are mostly portraits and stills from growing up. I have other drawings under the ones shown…I call those flame worthy, they are pictures from the games, of dead bodies and the snakes and pictures of the fallen emblazoned in the sky. Hellen explained to me we can't upset Capital people, they are 'different' more naïve and sensitive.

What she means is they don't want to know they have permanently scarred a fourteen year old. I play along, knowing Darwin and my prep team will understand…well maybe just Darwin. Ruby accidentally turned a page in my sketchbook and saw a snake's face fangs bared and nearly had a heart attack.

My lessons are on the back burner and Mr Finch is happy to leave me in my entourage's capable hands, he says I'm more advanced in my studies than other kids my age so me catching up is almost mum.

The tour starts in twelve the district of Celena and Archie. Darwin says its cold out there, its not the coolish night I get in district five where just a longsleeve shirt and a jean jacket will do me. He takes out a fur coat, its charcoal grey he says its grey fox fur that has been trimmed slightly. It's soft and warm, we don't wear fur in district five its really unpractical, leather is usually what we wear.

We have to use the train; Seneca comes along as moral support. And again I get that uneasy feeling stepping in. Perusse is there already fluttering around like some overactive humming bird. Hellen shows up late looking frazzled, explaining she had a last minute call from Snow who had an ultimatum, apparently he didn't like my idea all that much but hearing what he wants from me is a cake walk.

We pack the gifts I have for the tribute families and all my clothes and sketching supplies. I have moved up from notebooks to proper sketchpads, and I have an assortment of charcoals, and pencils and pastels. I have artwork all over my walls back home now, of my friends from the games, of the people I lost of Seneca and Darwin and I am sure after this tour I will have even more.


	4. The Artist

**Disclaimer: **The Hunger Games don't belong to me!

**Author's Note:** thanks to my reviewers **KL10X, JB, KitKat and Arrow**….a treat for y'all…my attempt at cannon! Be warned!

Chapter Four

The Artist

The trip to district twelve takes four days, when we arrive I am reminded of 'Sleepy Hollow'. It's a story Seneca told me once, it gave me nightmares but then again I was five and he wasn't aware that I had an overactive imagination.

We meet the mayor, a nice fellow who congratulates me and helps us unpack what things we mean to leave here. We were told district twelve isn't all that wealthy and has very little to offer, it made me sad so I had pretty much bought out our grocer and we went pear hunting. We unpack pots of stew, three deep fried turkeys then I ask if they have a bakery, we meant to bring bread but I learned everyone has a different kind of bread. He nods and the mayor and I go to the market quarter while the rest get the town hall set up.

I have to say I love bakeries; the window is full of cakes and cookies decorated so precisely and so delicately.

The mayor chuckles at my open mouthed response to what I see. We don't have true artists back home that can do that with icing. Cakes are covered in ganache, it's a thick chocolate coating, then a message is written in white icing.

Incidentally I don't know a soul who had ever bought a cake, until I returned from the games we usually had sugar cookies for our birthday or if Mrs. Goldfar felt up to the challenge she's make spice-cupcakes with a cream cheese icing if we could afford it. Nothing like what I see.

"Harry!" the mayor steers me in, "The victor wanted to come and pick up some bread for the party"

Harry is a big man blond with bright sparkling blue eyes. He smiles genuinely and offers his hand to the mayor and then to me. His hands are huge compared to mine and my hand disappears in his as he shakes it then he pulls me in for a quick hug. His apron is covered in flour, and he smells like a loaf of bread, not the fluffy white loaves of the capital but the heavy ones we usually get. The ones where a piece of it toasted with marmalade can last you till lunchtime; longer if you don't have a big appetite. His arms sport burns from the ovens and hair has singed off due to the flames as well.

"Did you do those?" I ask pointing to the display window

"The cakes?" he asks then chuckles when I nod feverently, "Just the butter cream layer, the decorations my youngest Peeta does after school" he says, then smiles, "bread you said? And we are making a special cake for the party; Peeta is decorating it right now"

I get excited and make to go peek but Harry stops me catching me gently in his outstretched arm, "no no m'dear that's a surprise" he says.

I catch out of my periphery a younger boy with messy blond hair and blue eyes like Harry. He is staring at me, he wears a similar apron to Harry but his has smudges of colored icing instead of just flour, that must be Peeta.

"Oh let her Mellark!" the mayor says cheerfully.

Harry chuckles and sighs as he raises his arm. I smile cheekily, I shrug off my fur coat to the mayor and dash past. The blond boy has disappeared from the doorway and I hear scuffling, I get to the back and the he is trying to cover up his work with cheesecloth.  
"Hi!" I say cheerfully  
He jumps and turns his eyes are as bright as his fathers and as blue as Seneca and I, he smiles bashfully, "hi" he says  
"You're Peeta?" I ask he nods, I go over and offer my hand, "you are an artist, we don't get cakes like that back home"  
"I like decorating" he says and the blush has gotten to his ears as he shakes my hand  
"Can you show me?" I ask, "how you do the roses? I wouldn't mind learning how"  
Peeta looks up and smiles but it falters a bit his eyes dart to the doorway where his father is leaning on the frame, I turn as Peeta says "can I pop?"  
Pop? What an odd name for your dad, I don't comment on that, Harry nods and Peeta smiles again even bigger as he takes my hand and pulls me to a clean workstation. He shows me the metal tip we use, it's flattened a bit so the opening makes a ribbon and not a dot. Then what looks like a large thumbtack only it's not pointy.  
"Here" he gets me to fill the bag with red icing, then he twists it and pushes the decorative paste to the end. He goes slowly so I pick up what he is doing, I'm a fast learner but even this is challenging! It's like dancing, co-coordinated movements of twirling the little platform as your other hand squeezes the pastry bag. This causes me to focus, he's younger than me and he can do this as easily as I throw a spear at a snake.  
"How long have you done this Peeta?" I ask as he seems so at ease with doing these delicate movements.  
His voice is very quiet, like its a secret or he's embarrassed, "since I was six" he says softly, he shows me the finished rose, it took him less than a minute and he was doing it slow, "your turn" he looks eager to see me do it. I take the pastry bag clumsily and he smiles, his hands take mine and adjust my grip, "you have to do it really gently otherwise-" as I am too eager I squeeze the bag sharply and a big blob of red icing goes over his hand and mine, "that happens" he looks a bit crestfallen.  
I just giggle and lick the icing off my fingers, "you have to admit" I say without thought, "sometimes making a mistake tastes good!"  
I don't know if it was the comment or me just eating the icing but little Peeta blanches a bit, are his parents strict?  
"Peeta you 'k?" I ask as I pass him a rag so he can clean the icing off his hand, "I guess I'm better at climbing than icing, 'm sorry I made a mess"  
"S'ok" he replies and tidies up until its spotless again, "maybe you're better at paintin'?"  
"I'm better at drawin'" I reply, his face lights up at that, "you draw Peeta?" he nods eagerly, but we have nothing to draw with and all my supplies are back on the train.

"How old are you Peeta?" I ask curiously

"Twelve" he replies again in that hushes bashful way…he escaped the reaping this year…he looks to be on the edge of saying something but I think he doesn't want to say it in front of the adults, that's when I hear a pig squeal.

"You have pigs?" I look at him a bit unsure

"Just a sow wanna see?" he replies and smiles when I nod, maybe if we are out of earshot he will open up a bit

We get outside and there in a rickety old mud pen is a huge old sow. I watch the pig snuffle in the cold muddy earth when Peeta's blue eyes are staring a hole in the ground beside me

"Something is bothering you" I say, "is your dad strict?"

"What? Oh! N-no he isn't its just….I j-just turned twelve a-and…" he looks at the ground; I know how he feels I was there not long ago.

"You're scared you'll be picked, or someone you care about?" I get him to look at me he gives a small nod, "the chances are slim Peeta y'know, for merchants?"

"M'mom says 'm supposed to take a tesserae" he looks frightened.

He's so young! I immediately don't like his mother and I never met her…something sticks in my head, and without any other thought I take out my pendant, the globe/compass/locket my brother gave me when I was reaped, my token in the games.

"Here" I say taking the chain from my neck and putting it around his, "my brother had this his whole six years and was never reaped, maybe there is some luck left in it"

"No! I c-can't!" he goes to take it off, "I c-can't take this f-from you"

"Consider it a loan then" I reply staying his hand from the chain, "when you make it thru your six years you can give it back to me" he looks like he is about to cry, I am sure he has friends, who wouldn't be friends with him? "It will be fine Peeta, its scary the first time but afterwards it gets better" We head inside, me with my arm protectively over his shoulder.

"Ms. Crane we should get going" the mayor calls, now its my turn to feel crestfallen, I like Peeta and we share a flare for artistic things, I wanted to draw for him so at least he won't feel bad I couldn't make the rose out of icing. He's nice, and I don't have many friends, but it would take time to get my supplies and sketch.  
"I gotta go" I say sadly, "are you coming to the party?"  
He shakes his head, "mom wants me to help here in case some people don't wanna go, m'pop and my older brother should be there with the cake"  
I nod, "I'll make sure we leave some for you and your mom"  
"an my other brother?" he asks hopeful  
"of course!" I smile, I put my hand out to shake his but he grabs me in a hug, I smile and wrap my arms around him too, my friend the baker's boy.  
"Ms Crane!" the mayor is calling me I guess he's eager to head back  
Peeta lets go, "thanks Ms Crane"  
"Ariana" I tell him  
"Thanks Ariana" he smiles and then before I turn he takes his rose he had made and puts it on a sugar cookie for me to take with me.


	5. The Olive Branch is Offered

**Disclaimer:** You know the deal. I wouldn't be doing a day job if I owned the right to The Hunger Games.

**Author's Note:** my thanks go out to my reviewers as always, **JB, Capp, KL10X, KitKat and Arrow**

Chapter five

The Olive Branch is Offered

We wanted to do this outdoors, but the weather in district twelve is not what we had hoped. It's cold and damp and snow fills the streets. We don't get much snow in district five; if we do it doesn't last. I want to build with this stuff its like using wet sand, but it's not a time to play.

We have commandeered the town hall for the party, tables are set up leaving the center open for those who want to dance, we have the food laid out and Hellen and Tracker are discussing things with Darwin. I am in a muted pink dress, its looks nice but I feel my skin shiver slightly because even in this warm room I look outside and feel cold.

The mayor looks nervous, since we were supposed to have started but no one has shown up yet. Peacekeepers are offered to get this done but I shake my head. I know why, they don't know how to react.

Usually they are forced to attend and this year it's a 'come as you are' kind of deal. No one knows how to take it especially when there is paranoia about new comers offering food.

"Maybe we should go" Perusse says

"No it's alright" I say and grab my coat, "Mayor Undersee can you come with me? I don't know where things are"

"Where do you want to go?" he asks

"Victor's village, and then you and I are doing some inviting" I reply

"Ariana that's not safe!" Seneca says warningly

I look at him and he sighs, "fine but I'm helping too"

"We all will" Darwin says, "Tracker and I will take the poor part of town Seneca and Hellen the market district"

"What about me?" Perusse asks

I look at her evenly, "stay put in case people start showing up"

I like my victor's village more than this one. No lights are on and even the mayor seems a bit uncomfortable being here. When I ask where Abernathy lives he looks at me like I have asked him to cut out my tongue, but he still points to the one just to the left of us.

I knock on his door.

Nothing.

I knock louder.

Still nothing, so I look at the mayor who shrugs then we both start pounding on the door to make such a racket that finally we hear bellowed from within.

"I'M COMING HOLD YOUR WATER!"

I smile, the door opens and Mr Abenathy is in a rumpled dressing gown and boxers.

"Mr. Abernathy?" I say softly

It takes him a few short moments to realize 1) he's almost naked, 2) the wind making him and us cold and 3) who I am.

"Ariana!" he jumps, "what are you doing here?"

I look at him surprised, "uh victor's tour remember? Can we come it its really cold out here and I'm not used to this weather"

He blinks, "yeah sure" he lets us in and I have to steel myself, his place is the worst mess I have ever seen and the smell makes me want to gag. This is how he lives when he's not a mentor?

"So?" he sits wrapping the dressing gown around himself, "what can I do you for?"

"Apart from getting washed and dressed?" I ask playfully, "how about showing up?"

He laughs, "so you actually managed to get this deal of yours? With the parties and not a simple ceremony?"

"Yes and I need your help, no one is showing up" I say

"'m not surprised, this never happens, this generosity, people are damned suspicious of any charity" he explains

"Its not charity, everyone can bring something if they can" I reply

"That's not what I mean, other victors, me included didn't open up like you do, you are willing to get dirty" he sighs and rubs his face, "give me half an hour I'll be there"

We both nod and the mayor lets me out and then has a talk with him in private.

We return to the town hall where Perusse looks bored, then the rest return, Darwin explained that they all want to come but don't want to be the first. The market district is the same. I sigh, as this is getting frustrating.

I am about to give up when a couple show up, the mayor touches my shoulder as I was talking to Darwin about possible contingencies. I turn and the lady comes up to me.

"Miss Crane?" she says

"Ariana, Miss sounds too old" I reply with a small smile

"I'm Mrs. Niveen" she says, I feel some blood drain from my face, Archie's mom, the man must be his dad.

I almost stumble to grasp her hand, "It's an honor to meet you" I say softly, "I'm glad I got to meet you, we won't be staying" I add sadly

"You're leaving so soon?" Mrs. Niveen asks

I sigh, "I don't think people want to come, or want me here"

"Give them time" Mr. Niveen says, "I know the seam is just washing the dust from their skin, they should be coming around soon"


	6. Blue Meets Grey

**Disclaimer:** Not mine! Not mine! The Hunger Games are not mine!

Chapter six

Blue Meets Grey

I sit with the Niveens and then the Harrows arrive with their son Julien who had escaped the reapings this past year he's nineteen.

The Mayor gets things going as the rest of the populous shows up, in their best clothes, and we start serving the food. It seems to have the effect I wanted, people are relaxing and talking and smiling. I get people coming up to me to talk, I am happy to meet them. I shake at least a dozen hands in the span of an hour. And the Niveens and Harrows keep close eye on me when my entourage is distracted.

As people are finishing their meals the mayor stands up and raps a fork on his glass to ring out for quiet.

"I would like to thank you all for coming, and showing this recent victor our hospitality" he begins, "and I would also like to thank Miss Crane and her entourage for hosting this lovely soiree and we would like to present her with this" he holds up a wooden plaque as a boy comes over with a bouquet of flowers, "as a token of district twelve"

There is applause and he motions me to stand, I do but I don't know what to say to this, I look at the Niveens who nod to me. It cements my resolve.

"I want to thank each and everyone of you who came today, but most of all the families of Celena and Archie" I begin I motion for Hellen and Tracker to get the wrapped gifts from the back and they present one to each family, "I don't know how to repay you for your loss, Celena and Archie were my friends prior to entering the arena, we shared knowledge and we talked of our districts. They missed you like I missed my brother, I think they died honorably and bravely and I hope what you just got although may not replace them will help give you closure"

Mrs. Niveen opens hers first, I had made portraits of each tribute from stills I had asked for. They are mostly head and shoulder shots and all look upwards. Mrs. Niveen covers her mouth and although tears are falling, her mouth is turned slightly upwards. Celena's mom gets my eye and mouths 'thank you' before Julien comes over and hugs me. Peacekeepers mean to push him off but Darwin stops them.

The party really gets underway after that, with some of the local's taking out fiddles or banjos.

Harry shows up with his middle son Buck in tow. He's my age and stocky like his dad but with dark blond hair and grayish eyes. Harry tries to get us chatting but I don't feel we have much in common. The cake is exquisite, it's a scene from my games, in dark red gellied calligraphy it's titled 'the climb'. I am hanging by my rope starting down at Maverick.

My heart stops for a moment, young Peeta has caught us perfectly. I could not have done better with my charcoal and pastels.

I feel sad cutting into it, but the insides are just as artfully done as the outside, it's filled with cream and strawberries. Harry sits with me and the mayor and we talk until its starting to get late, I make certain Harry takes three large pieces home for Peeta, his mother and his other brother who is two years older than me, Peeta apparently is the baby of the family like I am. I wish I could give him more but everyone enjoyed it so much that some took seconds.

Before we leave I want to do one last thing.

I ask to go with the mayor for one last walk, to their cemetery.

I don't want to keep flowers and I want to pay my respects to the fallen. So the mayor leads me to their graves and I lay the flowers down, I split the bouquet between them, keeping a rose for myself.

As we are leaving another family in entering with three boys and the lady looks to be very pregnant, one looks to be my age. This family wasn't at the party; I would have noticed him, the dark hair and what Celena called 'seam grey' eyes. It's just a glance we give each other, its enough for me to drop my rose into his hand as we pass each other by. If they are paying respects I can at least let them put something for whoever it is they are going to see. The mayor gives me a look, something about them makes him sad but I don't ask.

**Author's Note:** Awww first a glimpse of Young Peeta and now we get a quick shot with Young Gale! Sorry Katniss fans, no mini Katniss. Onward! (thanks go out to my reviewers as always **Kitkat, Arrow, KL10X, and JB**)


	7. To Face Fears

**Disclaimer:** Why would I steal someone else's thunder? Suzanne Collins owns the Rights to The Hunger Games not me!

**Author's Note:** thanks to my reviewers, my fab five, **KL10X, Quinn (aka Capp), JB, Arrow **and** KitKat**

Chapter Seven

To Face Fears

The rest of the tour goes by in similar fashion, except I don't meet many noteworthy people like twelve. The districts find it easier to accept now that they showed the coal district. Maybe that one is somehow a testing for the others, if the peacekeepers didn't force anyone then it should be safe enough there.

In district eight, the district of Henry I try to put him in a positive light. Explaining the harshness of the arena and how it can take down even the strongest man if he is unprepared. It seems to calm his family, we don't get to friendly terms but they don't hate me, which is nice.

In district four however I am welcomed not with acceptance but with hatred and hostility from Nina's family. Apparently they had caught my face when I saw the snake and how I didn't warn her. We leave the festivity early, apologizing for their hurt and hope they will find in time they can forgive me.

But nothing prepares me for district two.

Two is the only district I was not willing to face. Seneca comes into my room on the train to find me curled up under the covers.

"Come on sleepy head party time" Seneca says coming over his voice cheerful.

I don't move from under the covers, I can't will myself to face his parents, his sister, any of it. "'m not goin" I mumble from my refuge, "I don wan to go"

I hear him sigh, "Ari you have to otherwise they won't do it, it will be okay, if you really don't want to stay we can get you out before the speech, saying you're not feeling well or something"

"But I can't face Maverick's family!" I say poking my head from under the covers, "they must hate me, letting him go and die like that!"

Seneca looks at me, he looks confused, "Ari he _chose_ to go, you told him to _stay_, its not your fault he died, and he was _brave_" he wipes my eyes with a tissue, "don't blame yourself that he is gone, be grateful he saved your life like you did his…twice"

"Do you think his family hates me?" I ask

He shrugs, "well if they do then its their loss, but honestly apart from Nina's family none of the others hated you not even Henry's and he was a psychopath" he brushed some hair out of my face, "your outfit is ready and Farious just wants to put a little wave in your hair, it won't be long okay?"

Farious comes in followed by Darwin. Apparently Seneca explained my reluctance and Darwin sits with me while Farious puts soft waves in my hair, and a freedom braid.

"I wish Abernathy was here" I mutter, Darwin raises his eyebrows

"Darling Tracker and Hellen are here you want me to get them?" he looks concerned, I never ask for my mentors. Tracker and Hellen usually are there when I need them but I guess I'm concealing how I feel really well. I shrug in response.

"Ari" Darwin takes one of my hands and rubs it gently, he knows pressure point massage and he picks a point along my wrist aligning with my pinky finger and rubs deeply. It centers me as he continues, "you have nothing to be ashamed of, I saw what you did for Maverick in the end, staying with him until he…"

I close my eyes, it still hurts to hear, he might not have been Farrow but he was as close to me as Farrow was and I only knew him for a couple days.

"In any case" Darwin recovers taking a tissue and dabbing my eyes, "you can tell his parents how much he meant to you, and show how kind you are and talk about how kind he was right?" he knows he can't recover well especially when we talk about Maverick or Farrow so when Farious finished Darwin just hugs me until the tears dry up.

I don't cry loudly, I never did. But he knows when I've calmed down. "we won't leave your side okay sweety, not unless you tell us to"

I nod.


	8. Parents by Proxy

**Disclaimer:** I own the books not the rights 'nuff said! Onwards!

**Author's Note: **To all my reviewers (all four of you **JB, Quinn, KL10X, Arrow**) many thanks for your continued support. Also **Dark Satirist** who is reading the 69th right now :)

Chapter Eight

Parents by Proxy

I am in my old arena outfit.

Back in my loose hair and freedom braid, why? Because this is the outfit Mav always saw me in and this is how I want to meet his parents.

District two quarries stone, but they still manage to have a nice spread for the district and instead of everyone sitting and eating and talking the majority are standing around chatting here and there.

I get surrounded by well wishers and those who want to take a picture with me in my outfit. I relax, last time I wore this get-up I had had a full on panic attack, it feels better now, maybe because we gave it a thorough wash back home and it smells like the rest of my clothes now, not of the capital.

The mayor does his piece and we accept the plaque but Maverick's family has yet to show, maybe because they don't want to see me, maybe not. Abbleline's parents seem like nice enough people, they hug me, and thank me for the portrait. I ask after Maverick's parents and they respond that they don't keep in touch with them. They are equivalent to 'outlet' and 'seam' families, poor.

Darwin, Tracker and I are talking to the mayor's people when a hand touches my shoulder. A tall man who looks like an older Maverick except his eyes are different and he has a bushy moustache is staring down at me in a gentle manor.

"Miss Crane?" he asks and I feel like I'm in district twelve again.

"Mr. LeTorch?" I inquire, he nods he leads me to his wife, who is sitting and worrying her hands.

"Mrs. LeTorch?" I ask softly she looks up.

She has something in a brown paper bag, and I have the wrapped portrait of Maverick. Actually I have two of him, the one of him looking out from the hideout and a head and shoulder shot, he was the hardest to do. I had gone thru ten sheets of paper before my hands could steady.

I sit across from her; she has his eyes, blue but not the bright blue that Sen and I sport from our parents. Its muted and mixed with grey, "I don't know how I can express how much it means to meet you both" I say with so much honesty and hurt injected that I can't bare to look at her.

"No" she says softly to me, "no I-I want to thank you, you saved him, he was going to die of dehydration and exposure, but you saved him without thinking" she gets up and kneels down to get me to face her, "Abbleline was right he had a sister, but she didn't know the whole story, Marie…she and Maverick liked to play out in the quarry after work hours, all the children of the quarry workers do it, and there is a pool that forms after the rain. Marie decided to dive in but it was too shallow. She broke her neck; Maverick blamed himself for her death. I think he saw some of Marie in you Ariana, and saving you must have brought him peace."

I know I am crying, and so is Mrs. LeTorch. We hug and hold tight to each other.

I can feel the crowd stop and look their conversations ended abruptly to watch ours, I can hear sniffling not just from Perusse but from other people too.

When we finally separate I hand my drawings to them and she hands me the paper bag. Inside is a photograph of Maverick. It's in sepia tones but he's in a plaid shirt and dark jeans. He has that smile he gave me when I asked what he was staring at. I can feel tears welling up again, wanting to spill over.

"Can I see him?" I ask Mr. LeTorch.

Maverick's father looks to the mayor who nods and the LeTorch Family and I go to the cemetery.

His grave is small, too small for me to understand. "Wasn't he buried?" I ask

"Yes, but our family custom is to be incinerated and our ashes buried with a small plaque Ariana, the capital was gracious enough to do that little kindness for us," Mrs. LeTorch explains

I kneel down on the ground and place the whole bouquet save a few blooms on Maverick's grave. He deserves more than this, he deserved to win, not die.

"He was a hero" Mr. LeTorch says, "just like you little'un"

"I'm no hero" I say softly

I see the two adults exchange glances out the corner of my eye, Mrs. LeTorch takes the reserved blooms and goes to place them on Abbleline's grave.

Mr. LeTorch and I stand there for what seems like forever, "if it were any other tribute would you have done the same?" he asks, "help them regardless of where they came from?"

I nod, "I think so, at least I hope I would, I don't know what made me do it sir, just….he needed help"

"A hero some say is 'someone who gets other people killed' I don't believe that. A hero is someone who does the right thing regardless of the repercussions to themselves, that's why you saved him Ariana, that's why you ran back to kill Jade, it was the right thing" he puts a heavy hand on my shoulder, "these parties you thought up, they are also the right thing, it brings us closer as a community. So don't feel bad about loosing Maverick okay, you saved him and in return he saved you, I can't be more proud of both of you, and you're not even my daughter."

I look up and his smile has disappeared behind his moustache, "when you won Kayla –my wife- wanted to adopt you y'know?" I seem startled by that, "actually a lot of people wanted you as their own, we actually had the courage to inquire but your brother has legal custody of you, so in lieu keep in touch with us alright?" he hands me a piece of heavy paper with his address as we start walking back.

"What are you going to do now?" he asks and I hear a bit of maverick's playful banter in his voice as we head back, "now that your rich an famous"

"I'm finishing my studies and I want to be a doctor" I reply

He chuckles, "then my dear little Ariana you will make all the tribute families proud that you won"

As we enter the tent I see Enobaria, the winner of the games that took Xania away from me. I do no like her, she was vicious and evil, and she seemed to have enjoyed it, even her smile is vicious now. She had her teeth cosmetically changed, she looks like a shark.

I stick close to Mr. LeTorch and his wife Kayla, they realize I am uncomfortable around their victor and seem to want to keep me safe; they keep me just as close until they deliver me to my brother's arms.

"You should be proud of her" Kayla says to Seneca proudly herself, and I smile as he looks fully chastised.

"Believe me I am" he replies and holds me close.

**Author's Note #2:** This was one of my more treasured chapters because I was asking myself "self? Why was Maverick such a great guy?" well self its because he had great parents :D


	9. Requests Accepted

**Disclaimer: **Hunger games belong to Suzanne Collins not me.

**Author's Note: 1)** thank you to my reviewers as all five of you made it this time around! **JB, KL10X, Quinn, Arrow and KitKat**, also to **DS** who will eventually get to Roads Home ;)

**2)** due to work being work and days being days the schedule I keep for this story will shift eeeever so slightly, the night before my usual updates will be the updating time…therefore the story will be updated on **Sunday/Tuesday/Thursday NIGHTS** (_and not Monday/Wednesday/ Friday Mornings_) probably around 9ish or right before bed…this will go on until work becomes less demanding (and I am sleeping better due to less stress) I thank you all for your support and hope you don't mind the disruption in the normal schedule too much. With that said …On with the show!

Chapter Nine

Requests Accepted

As we head to the train to head for district one someone stops us, it's a random guy hell bent on getting my autograph. He and his friends surround us until I am separated from Seneca and my entourage, panicked and a bit frightened I make to cry out but the guy hushes me gently.

"Its okay" he says, "look I won't hurt you but I have something for you"

"Ariana! Ari!" Seneca is calling to me half panicked and crazed

The guy presses an envelope into my hand; "we are watching you" he says and gives me a meaningful look, not anger or hatred…respectful? Is that it? I look at the envelope, it's of heavy paper and yellowed like the office envelopes tracker used to store the money for each district, there seems to be something other than paper in it.

"Who are you?" I ask

"A friend" the guy says, "Call me Plutarch" he points me back to my group, "open it when you feel it's safe" he says in my ear

"When will that be?" I ask but he gives me a gentle shove and my feet propel me back to Seneca who wraps his arms around me and scoops me up.

"I won't ever let go of you again!" Seneca says relieved, I hug him tightly around the neck as well as hold onto the envelope.

District one is five hours away from the capital. It almost feels like we are there now, except the people look normal. No weird hairdos, or eyelashes that are longer than normal, no glow in the dark tattoos. But they are by no means poor either, I doubt they have a poor part of the district.

We meet and greet, set up but they have done most of that for us. The food is rich, and almost never ending, but, to be honest, I miss the food in district ten, the dessert of district twelve, the entertainment of district three, and the people of districts two, ten, eleven and twelve.

District one is a façade I realize, like burning a steak and covering it up with a lot of sauce. They seem to know it too, because the moment I look at their food and realize I miss something they look uneasy, like they have disappointed someone higher up. Their plaque is heavy and there are a couple precious stones decorating it. I try and look appreciative but this whole district makes me feel uneasy.

I meet the tribute families and Tracker and Hellen present the portraits. Ren's family accepts them both since Jade's family refuses to see me. I can understand; I killed their daughter. Ren's family is gracious and cordial but I can tell they don't want to be here either so I make my goodbyes short and sweet. The Mayor and my entourage accompany me to the cemetery and I place the flowers. I can't wait for this tour to end.

"Five hours away from the capital" Darwin says to my prep team, "she doesn't need much" he looks at me, "take a shower I think you feel you need one, and then we will have you ready to go"

Hellen ushers me into my cabin on the train while Seneca and Tracker get washed and changed as Perusse oversees everyone and my never ending timetable.

Hellen brushes out my hair and helps me get out of the golden dress I was in. "Are you excited to get to the capital sweetheart?" she asks hanging it in my cupboard.

I shrug, "not really, I don't like the capital, it seems so fake"

She chuckles, "I guess that's one way of saying it, maybe because they don't know the games like we do"

"Do you think they will like my banquet idea?" I ask, as she comes over with a dressing gown and towel.

"They don't have much of a choice, you held up your end of the bargain" she said, the bargain we struck was I had to attend all the parties. I couldn't say no to any one of them, if I kept to the deal the capital would have a party for everyone not just the well to dos.

It will be the first time since the crowning ceremony I will see President Snow. The thought makes my skin crawl, he reminded me of a venomous snake, his beady eyes and how his mouth and cheeks seem to be slightly swollen.

I choose the hottest setting for my shower and the strongest smelling soaps. I come out of the sauna that is my washroom smelling of orange blossoms and vanilla. I can't help but smile to myself, Peeta would probably recognize the vanilla.

Hellen helps me dry my hair and get my clothes on. Darwin had already put out my dress, so as my mentor starts to braid my hair I want to talk to her.

"Can we send things to other districts?" I ask

Hellen looks into the mirror I am facing to see my expression, "like mail? I guess so, I never really thought of that, all the people I know and care about are in our district honey. Why?"

"The LeTorches gave me their address, an…well I made a friend in twelve an I want to send him some things" I reply

Hellen makes a teasing face, "does our little Ariana have a boyfriend already?"

Its funny she says that but it's not an image of Peeta popping into my head, it's the boy with the grey eyes…I shake my head, "nooo he's justa friend, he's the son of the baker"

"The one at the party?" Hellen asks finishing the braid with a golden elastic

"No he was at the bakery, he did the decorating on the cake" I reply, "he tried showing me how they do those flowers, I couldn't do it"

Hellen nods, "well I will see what we can do, what did you want to send him?"

I pause and my eyes drift to my art bag, and I smirk, "I want to send him art supplies, to draw with"

Hellen kisses my cheek, "then it will be done"


	10. Refusal

**Disclaimer: **I do not and will Never own the right of The Hunger Games

**Author's Note:** Greetings all! This chapter might not have happened were it not for **JB** giving me a pep talk so I want to thank her personally…Thank you **JB** for cheering me up…more or less

Thanks as always also go to **KL10X, and Quinn** who reviewed last chapter

Chapter 10

Refusal

I don't like the capital, I don't know if I mentioned that but I really don't. Everything is fake and gaudy and too over the top to be worth anything. I anticipate a big show but as we disembark a peacekeeper and one of Snow's advisors come to greet us.

The deal is off, he explains. He doesn't say why he doesn't see the need to.

This enrages me, I did my due diligence I have played my part and he refuses to hold up his end? He wants to have the well to do party?! DID HE SPEND A WEEK IN HELL?!

"I'm not going" I say flatly, I turn and re-enter the train

My prep team follows me in. They look disappointed, I don't know what side of it they are upset about. Missing a party? Or Snow's refusal? Either way I can't even humor Jubilee right now, I go to my compartment and slam the door.

Seneca tries to come in but I have locked the door, I have re-showered, undid my braid and have put on slacks and a blouse. I am completely off tour now; if they wanted me to show up and play the good girl then they should have played the same.

Tracker tries an hour later, Perusse pounds on the door expecting to come in. I am so angry at the capital I draw a hand flipping the bird and slide that under the door. She exclaims impudence and rudeness and storms off.

It's near supper time when Hellen finally manages to unlock the door from the outside. Her time in the arena had buildings and she barricaded herself after jimmying the lock open on one. She doesn't say anything; I think she knows she can't change my mind with words. I have started drawing, it's in a new notebook and it's a picture of Harry and Peeta. I had this idea earlier but I guess since I won't be celebrating in the capital I might as well get started.

"They didn't want to play your game it seems" she finally says as I slow to shadding, "I'm sorry kiddo"

"Was that something Snow told you?" I spit angrily, "that he wasn't sure he would allow the big party in the capital?"

She is silent.

"That's a 'yes'" I close the book, I will write the accompanying letter when I have a better mood behind me, "he talks of peace and community, he talks of everyone being fair and equal but it's lies! All of it!" I look at Hellen who is sitting in my make-up chair, "he doesn't care about the districts, you just have to look at Twelve and know he doesn't! Why should I care about him?!"

"He's the president" Hellen shrugs, I can tell she agrees with me

"He's is also a man, and he bleeds red like any other human male" I growl back, "my dad told me once you can tell how a man in power is by how he treats the people under him, and what I see is someone who thinks they are above it all because they live away from the rest of the world, safe and happy and pampered, like the careers in my game"

"Yes but your careers were upset by a sandstorm Ariana, what could possibly upset a president?" Hellen asks.

It's at that moment Darwin bursts in, he's breathless and if I am not mistaken a little pale.

"Refusal" I reply


	11. The Stench of Power

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to The Hunger Games, never have never will...unfortunately.

**Author's Note:** 1) I want everyone to keep an open mind in this chapter...m'kay?

2) thanks go out to **JB, KL10X, Quinn and Arrow** my fab four reviewers

Chapter 11

The Stench of Power

I am not with my entourage, I told them to stay behind, I may be fourteen years old but this is something I have to do on my own. Darwin had run in and said the envoy had returned, the president wanted to speak to me privately.

"Bring your entourage if you wish" he man said, but for some reason I had a bad feeling if I did something would happen to them, hence them sitting tight.

The man we all call 'the envoy' is tall and skinny with a thin black moustache and black hair plastered to his skull. If I ever see another person with such hair I will dump a pail of water on them. He seems uptight and uncomfortable.

"You don't like me" I smirk looking out the window of the car we are being driven in.

He is startled I am talking to him, "I'm not allowed to speak of opinions Ms Crane"

I roll my eyes, "you have a brain, I think that entitles you to an opinion" I reply not diverting my eyes from the scenery.

"Well, then I don't see what the fuss is about, why you can't just go along" he says, "we have an exquisite meal planned out, plenty of music and dancing"

"For only those the president seems fit to entertain" I remark and look at him, "would your family be there?"

He looks shocked, "well no"

"And that's why I said no" I reply, "everyone should be there, not just those who can afford it"

"But we can't cater to the whole of the city!" he says, "its just not possible!"

"And that's why everyone chips in" I reply, "even the ones who don't have much will bring what they can if it means they can participate don't you see?"

His mouth tightens to a thin line

"I guess not" I reply and return to looking out the window.

The presidential estate is massive and although I don't like the envoy I am glad he can lead me in and out of the building with little fuss. He stands by a set of double doors of heavy dark wood. "He's waiting for you" he says and opens the door for me to go in.

It stinks of roses; the whole of this room is one massive rose garden. Don't get me wrong, I like roses, the little ones that you can get in pots and have on the kitchen table that have a light scent. This is what they call overkill.

"Miss Crane" I hear and its like ice water has been dumped into my bloodstream, I shiver uncontrollably and right now…at this moment I kind of wished at least Tracker was here. But I hide my fear very quickly.

"President Snow" I reply as coolly as I can, he nods and he points for us to walk along a stone path around the garden, he moves slow, I guess because he's old.

"I want to understand why you refuse our hospitality but will graciously accept that of the districts?" he says so gently and softly that instead of being a comfort I immediately see it as a threat.

"I would like to know what is stopping you from opening your doors to the less fortunate" I retort just as calmly

"So brave for someone so young" he sighs, "I can see why you are popular now"

That was a compliment, I know but I really don't care

He continues his walk with me in silence for a while, "why do you want to have such a big festival?"

"You said a victor's tour was supposed to be one right?"

"Yes"

"Isn't a festival supposed to be celebrated by everyone?"

He doesn't reply, I allow myself a small smirk so small he won't notice.

"You don't like charity President snow?"

"I expect everyone to do their jobs and not complain"

"A happy populous is a productive one?"

"Yes"

I pause, to give my next comment weight

"So you get your solid quota of coal then, no over?"

He stops, ah ha!

I keep walking a couple steps, I stop at not a rose bush, I think this is the only other flower in this garden, a Hibiscus bush with big orange blooms. Its so different and beautiful I stop to touch the petals, and smell.

"Who taught you this?" he asks

"Does it matter?" I reply 'he's dead anyway' I think to myself, dad had taught me well

He waits a beat, "so if we had this big party…how would we manage it"

I pause, "well back before there was Panem they had something called Mardi Gras"….

**Author's Note:** 2) The nerve of her the cheek! That is how she is people, take no prisoners, hold no quarter….of course….something…eventually has got to give right (insert evil laugh) stay tuned!


	12. Festival

**Disclaimer:** Yes! I own the rights of The Hunger games! Believe me? SIKE! No I don't own them had you there for a minute didn't I?

**Author's Note:** Thanks go to my reviewers as always JB, KL10X, Arrow, Quinn (who told me she is on vaca so she gets a mention despite no review :P), and my two new reviewers Miss Mustang and Salanderjade! (now! Who here knows the phantom of the opera? Movie)

Chapter 12

Festival

I am escorted out, President Snow said he would think about it and the envoy would return with his answer tonight. In any case I was to stay on my train until then.

When I return Seneca can't unlatch his arms from around me if his life depended on it. They all had been pacing and worrying and pacing some more. I can actually see track marks in the carpet if I concentrate.

Darwin and I sit while the others perch on chairs or stand at the window.

"So what did you two talk about?" Darwin asks

"Charity but in a very backwards way" I say, it reminds me if this works we need costumes, "Darwin how fast can you sew?" I look worried

"Fastest fingers in the capital!" Farious says smiling

"What do you need?" Darwin asks

The envoy comes around ten that evening, and if I not mistaken his mouth is quirked up slightly; I decide its time to be myself again. I take the mask Darwin and I have made for me, it has an owl motif and I tie it on to go to the door.

The envoy looks confused until I raise the mask, "it's a go then?" I ask

He nods, "the festivities start in two days, we have to let people prepare"

"See you there then" I reply and close the door

Everyone is standing with baited breath…

"Well?" Darwin asks scissors paused mid snip

"Festival!" I reply smiling

* * *

Oh what a day and a night and a day again. On day two everyone is decked out in costumes. My whole entourage, even Tracker who is NOT one for dressing up has agreed.

We all sport masks, each with a different motif but I keep it bird related, so I know where they are in the crowd and they are all sparkly and white, we have to stand out.

I'm dressed as a screech owl, but in light greys and white. I even have the envoy take the groups picture before we head out.

The noise, the lights the sounds the smells. Vendors are out in full force selling food of various types and I can't help but love the atmosphere. Hellen and Tracker are at either side Seneca takes the rear and my prep team is floating about with Darwin.

Darwin is an eagle, my prep team are hawks, but in brightly coloured plumage.

Seneca is a great horned owl, he even managed the tuffs on his mask.

Tracker and Hellen are barn owls, a matching pair.

Perusse had to be different, we are all raptors, and she wanted to be a swan! We had all groaned at her insisting. But finally I gave up, she had to be different.

"We should head to city central" Hellen remarks as she bends down to talk to me privately, "this was a great idea"

Getting to city central and the banquet hall seems to be a challenge my team was ready for. Darwin takes point and Farious, Ruby and Jubilee spread out to make a path. Tracker and Hellen keep me between them but allow people to shake my hand or to hug me to thank me for the party. Seneca and Perusse take the rear to make sure no one tries to grab me. We make it to city center in what Perusse calls 'record time' without a car.

Everyone here is dressed like Victorian dolls, with facial masks that are just their faces in painted paper mache. They spot me and it's an influx of activity that I am not prepared for. My entourage contracts so I am more secure. That is until Snow appears.

He's in a red suit with demon motif mask horns included. Everyone applauds him. He comes down to the crowd shakes some hands then bee lines to me.

"You got your wish I see" he smiles but it doesn't reach the eyes behind his mask. I think he doesn't like the whole masquerade thing.

"Everyone seems to like it Mr. President" I reply, _that's it lets get everyone on my side_. Then he can't blame me for a good idea.

We eat, we dance and we mingle. I even for a brief second catch Plutarch again, he's a peacock, he looks ridiculous, maybe its his round figure, and he lacks the grace of the bird he chose.

There is no speech to give, and I am completely spent as the party winds down. So much activity…I have to smile.

So much to put in my letter to Peeta.


	13. Nightmares Return

**Disclaimer: **No The Hunger Games do not belong to me!

**Author's Note:** thanks to my reviewers **JB, MM, Arrow and KL10X** (Capp too! she still gets mentioned :P )

Chapter 13

Nightmares Return

The trip home to the final party is long; we are all spent from the festival. Ruby who is the oldest sleeps a whole day!

I have completed my letter to Peeta with drawings of my team and a copy of all of us in costume. I even put a feather from my costume in it. I close the book and put it in an envelope with his address on it. I found out how to make a self return envelope so Peeta doesn't have to spend money on stamps.

I can afford it, he can't and I don't want him getting into trouble for nothing. I make sure to include instructions so he knows how this will work.

I like him, even if we only talked that once I knew he was a friend.

I write a letter to Maverick's parents, saying how I am grateful I met them, that I hope they are well and hope to hear from them soon. I also send them a drawing of all of us in costume, copied from the photograph I have tucked in my bag. I was surprised when Mr. LeTorch said a few families had vied to adopt me, when I brought it up with Tracker he looked uncomfortable about answering. Yes he was asked if I could have been adopted, no he never let go of me, yes Seneca has legal guardianship of me, no if I was adopted I couldn't have taken him along hence the not letting go.

I am grateful he didn't. Seneca sleeps in a suede chair facing the TV, he hasn't gotten out of his costume since we left the capital, his is mask askew, hair a mess. I take a blanket and cover him. I sit in a chair and watch him sleep, my brother. My family, I look around. I feel so safe I let my eyes drift close, it can't be any better.

But oh how the imagination plays with us when we feel safe.

I wake screaming, Seneca and Hellen are right beside me telling me to calm down. I can't! I can't calm down I'm hyperventilating!

President Snow in his costume morphs into a snake that wraps around me, choking me, seeing flames encircle me. Him hissing that I got my wish. And the stink of roses. I'm crying and Seneca wraps me in the blanket then in his arms. Now everyone is gathered looking worried. Tracker gets a glass of water for me but my hands are trembling so much its getting the blanket wet more than my throat.

"It's okay" Seneca says, "Ari it's okay you're safe"

"I hate the Capital" I cry softly, still wired and frightened.

Darwin kneels beside me, his dark green eyes penetrate mine, he brushes a few stray hairs from my face. I decide to correct myself….and say so softly they barely hear me.

"I hate Snow" this of course can be misconstrued since to get to five we pass thru some snowy areas…I know I should watch my words, but he scares me, and I hate feeling frightened. I hate not being in control.

"It's alright" Perusse says, "you'll be back home in five before you know it and you won't have to see snow for as long as you want"

I wish she was right but I just bury my face in the blanket as Seneca rubs my back.

We stop as a way station. The train has to refuel so I get out in my winter coat and stand outside letting the wind whip around me. We mail the parcels here since waiting until we get to five will just be a waste of time. I try and calm myself, breaking down my nightmare into drawable fodder for the fireplace back home…I know its one of those nightmares I might not be able to draw for fear someone recognizes the face and then see me burn it to ash.

"Hey darlin'" Darwin comes outside; he's in grey wolf fur. "you feeling better?"

"No" I say flatly, "no I'm not"

"Wanna talk about it?" he doesn't try and touch me but I lean against him and he puts an arm around me

"I don't like being scared" I say "and whenever I'm in the Capital I am filled with it, except when we were in the crowded streets with all the regular citizens, but in the city center with….him" I leave that hang.

Darwin gets the gist of it, "he has that affect on people" he says, "I heard tell one victor wet themselves from fright"

"no one should be afraid of someone else, its not right Darwin" I say softly, "no one should be bullied"

He doesn't say anything but he holds me closer as the wind howls around us.


	14. Farewell My Friends

**Disclaimer:** I don't own The Hunger Games…if only that was a lie

**Author's Note:** Sorry for the micro-chapter guys…it starts to build up though…at least I hope. thanks go out to my reviewers as always **JB, KL10X, Arrow** and Quinn (who will eventually read and review :P)

Chapter 14

Farewell My Friends

We have one last party, the party is District Five.

My home, one thing my district knows how to do is throw a party.

For the adults there are drinking contests.

The kids play outdoor games, we even get Darwin and my prep team into a largest game of Red Rover on record (yes I know its juvenile but when Farious decides to take two five year olds players hanging from either arm like trained monkeys back to his side of the field you tell me it's not fun?).

We play softball (Seneca pulled a double late in the game), eat (another tamale Darwin? Or is eight your limit?), drink and dance until the light dies down and we set up a bonfire.

Jack takes out his flute and starts to play, and Maggie Beth takes out her recorder and plays along. In Twelve they have string instruments, the banjo and fiddle, they are nice an all. To me though, nothing is more soothing than everyone surrounding a huge bonfire listening to wind instruments and saying goodbye to old friends.

In district five I have to add we make effigies for loved ones when they pass on. We also celebrate once a year around this time for any loved ones we have lost. It's a very old tradition done before panem was panem. No one knows who kept it going but if you're from five you celebrate day of the dead, some things have changed, its celebrated around the same time as the final victor party and we don't have access to the amount of sugar needed to make what was called Calaveras. So instead we make effigies out of straw or dead cactus that we carve. Those who can draw will draw pictures of their loved one and burn them.

Tonight is the day to remember Celena Archie, Farrow, Maverick, mom and dad. I had drawn pictured of all of them for this night, and I am the first to start.

"We remember the dead, and wish them peace" I say, "tonight I am remembering my friends Celena, Archie, Farrow and Maverick, who saved my life in the games, I also as every year remember my mom and dad." I toss my pictures of them into the bonfire.

Seneca stands up, "I want to remember and thank Farrow for keeping Ariana safe" he tosses his effigy into the awaiting flames

The night goes on, Darwin remembers his mother who died a couple years back from a stroke. Jubilee had a sister who died in a boating accident in four on vacation, Ruby remembers her husband, Farious his parents.

Hellen decides to remember Xania.

Tracker remembers his parents, his father died of a snake bite when he was 17 his mom had died giving birth to his sister Tracer. Tracer is two year older than I am at sixteen, and still in the running for being reaped, their grandmother looks after her when he's not there. It's the whole reason he's good with money, he has had to be.

The night wears on, Darwin sits and I lean against him. A lot of families are taking their kids home, either carrying them or leading the sleepyheads by the hand.

I let out a jaw cracking yawn and Seneca collects me and we say farewell to my entourage. Darwin has to get back he's mentoring a stylist starting the next games and he wants to start early. He promises to stay with district five if he can, we've grown on him I suspect.

Jubilee, Ruby and Farious leave with him, giving me a hug each and promise to stay in touch. I hope to see them soon, we've grown on them but they have grown on me. The only one I am glad to see go is Perusse who was a complete wet blanket at the party tonight. She didn't like getting dirty or sweating. The sooner she gets back to the capitol the happier both of us will be I suspect.

I am so exhausted from the night events no nightmares wake me. With the exception of the capitol I think I had made a positive impression, with that thought my sleep is undisturbed.


	15. Rebellion?

**Disclaimer: **I have never nor ever will own the rights to The Hunger Games

Author's Note: Many thanks to my reviewers **JB, KL10X, Arrow and MM **(and Quinn when she returns ;) )

Chapter 15

Rebellion?

The cold season draws on, the next couple weeks Seneca lets me do as I want. And what I want is to get out of the house. I put on my jeans, a long sleeve shirt and my new jacket. It was the surprise Darwin warned me about, he had gotten clearance to collect the snake skins from the arena and had enough not just from my haul but Farrow to make two identical jackets, one that fits me now and he made an adult version for when I grow out of this one. I didn't freak out, in fact I felt really sentimental, its like having a bit of Farrow and Maverick with me all the time I wear it.

Along with the yellow envelope, I also take my old climbing gear that we were allowed to keep from my family home. It has been in storage but I haven't outgrown it yet. I also take along a sketchpad and pencils, and a snack.

I ride the bike I bought with my first victor's salary. I could have bought a nicer more expensive one, but I like my red bike. I head out to the cliffs that edge where the power plant is, and go for a climb.

I reach my perch and set down to have my snack and read the note. It comes with something that looks like a compact Perusse used to take the shine from her nose. Only much much smaller.

_-Greetings victor Crane,_

_My congratulations for living thru a hunger games, and at such a young age. You must be very proud of yourself and you should rightfully be so!_

_But what you should be even more proud of is how you held yourself and your morals higher than most._

_This is a very rare thing to see and it is what caught our attention. We like to see this, it means hope isn't lost, you are your own person dear girl be proud of that!_

_However we are not the only ones that are paying attention. What you said in your interview with Caesar has hit nerves scattered across Panem, and using your tour to unite district within themselves has not gone under the radar either._

_Some people like it, mostly the outlying districts._

_A lot don't and they are mostly from the capitol._

_There are people who think like you, a whole district actually! With a president to boot! _

_They want to meet you, but only when you are ready._

'_how' you may ask yourself, 'will I know I am ready? And how do I let them know?'_

_Don't worry we have thought of everything._

_Maybe you aren't ready to face this yet, you are still young Ariana and we know you need your family and friends right now._

_But if things get too much and you don't know of a way out? We will be there to catch you and help you, we are all on the same side._

_The small object with this letter is a beacon. Once pressed we will know your exact location and will come to your aid. It's a one time thing once you press this you will have to say goodbye to your life as an ordinary girl. So use it wisely._

_We support you and wish you all the luck._

_Your fan,_

_Plutarch Heavensbee_

I blink several times, this is a very strange letter.

What could he possibly mean by this? 'If things get too much and you don't know of a way out', I have Darwin, Tracker, Hellen and Seneca to help me figure things out. Thanks Plutarch but I'm fine right now. I look at the small plastic beacon. It's no bigger than that tiny jar of lip balm Ruby left with me. It has a silver button in the exact center sealed with some sort of resin so it can't be pressed by accident, to activate it I will have to break the seal first. He has thought of everything it seems. And what side is he talking about? It takes me a few beats to realize what he means.

He doesn't like the capitol either!

Is this like recruitment of rebels or something? What could I have possibly said to insight him to contact me.

I look back to what I have done…

Caesar's 'final word' interview comes to mind, where I was comparing the games to ancient roman gladiators, and saying that wars have come before Panem for other reasons than civil.

I turn the capital's plans of my tour on its head when I showed charitable actions.

But that's benign! Barely something to get bent out of shape over. I haven't been disrespectful, just blunt. Anyone with half a brain would know I am not one for violence, mom had told me one 'violence begets more violence', eye for an eye mentality I am not fond of. They just have to see me in the arena when I killed Jade to know that.

True I did a non-violent rebellion when I locked myself in my train car at the capitol, but that's was for a good cause! If I am punished for a positive thing I would be martyred, so what is Plutarch getting at?

I sigh and fold up the letter and replace it in its envelope, but I pocket the beacon…no harm in being prepared, I eat my snack of apple and cheese and climb down.

I ride past the train station that splits my district on my way home, district five is BIG land wise but people call it desolate and empty. On one side of the tracks is the desert, with the cliffs and brush, and out near the fence the power plant. On the other side is the town, starting with the train station and stretching off in the other direction, it also has some desert but that's on the far edge past 'outlet' area.

I stop at the ticket booth and talk to Mr. Kelvin, he runs the mail for our district. He isn't a mailman, he doesn't go from house to house, he keeps things for the district and we come and pick things up. I go by daily now since I started writing to Peeta.

I had received the notebook back a few short weeks after I had sent it; he had taken ten pages and completely filled them with drawings, and notes. He apparently is very shy at school from what he tells me although he has many friends he doesn't talk much. He says he was shocked and very happy to get the drawing stuff. He almost got in trouble for drawing when he was supposed to be decorating cookies for the mayor's daughter's birthday. His drawings are masterful for someone so young, okay twelve isn't young like I was when I first took up this talent but not many boys are into sketching around here. He has a few of his father and his brother's, none of his mother. I have a feeling if he is hit it's her doing it. He also draws the buildings and the apple tree in his backyard…and this girl. I can't tell her hair color he refuses to use the pastels unless it's important that it be in color. I had told him that if he runs out to let me know, but I think he's too shy about asking, or too proud. Can a twelve year old be too proud?

But this girl last time has taken a more dominant part of his sketches; I think my little friend has a crush on her. I ask him about that and to show him I am okay with this I asked him if he knows a boy with dark hair and slate grey eyes, he would have a baby sibling by now, newborn. That was the last message I had sent him.

It's been three weeks….finally Mr. Kelvin is smiling. My notebook is back!


	16. Letter to a Friend

**Disclaimer:** I wish I owned the right to The Hunger Games…then I wouldn't have to disclaim every chapter -.-

**Author's Note:** another peek at Peeta folks! (yay for canon!) Thanks go out to my reviewers as always **JB, KL10X, Arrow** (and Quinn who should be back any day now 0

Chapter 16

Letter to a Friend

I stop at the window as he retrieves it, the return envelope is getting worn out, it can take another couple envoys but I will have to find a better envelope for it. Maybe they have canvas ones for this kinda thing.

Mr Kelvin hands it to me. "what has young Peeta said?" he asks because I can't wait to get home to read it I open the notebook as soon as I get it out of the envelope.

"That's nosey" I tease the postmaster

"Had to try" he jokes, he always jokes.

I shove it back in its envelope, pass Kelvin ten dollars for his troubles and head home.

Seneca knows I got my notebook back because I don't say a word coming in, I go to the fridge pour myself a glass of orange juice and go outside to sit under the Joshua tree to read, I also bring out my drawing stuff and a pen to reply. I usually reply the same day because I know it take a while for things to get from district to district.

_Hi Ari!_

_I'm okay for art stuff still, I like keeping the colours for really special drawings. _

_The girl is in my year, and I kinda like her. Not friend's like but like like, she looks after her family since her dad died. Her name is Katniss. Ariana _(here there is a big space that has been erases until its flimsy…I wonder what's wrong? Peeta doesn't do this unless he worried about something)_ how do you talk to girls? I tried asking my brothers but they just laugh at me and my pop told me I should wait until I'm older. I really like her but I can't think of anything to say to her. I helped her out once when she was hungry I burnt a couple loaves of bread on purpose and gave one to her, mom (_again a space_) yelled at me for that, I had to! She was hungry! But I can't talk to her! She's pretty and when she sings the birds go quiet and I just want to be friends with her. She doesn't seem to have many friends, and I have my friends at school and you!_

_Delly Cartwright says it's easy to talk to girls, and I think she thinks Katniss needs more friends too. Is this pity? I don't pity her; I think she's really brave._

_The boy you asked about is Gale Hawthorne I think, he's your age right? His little sister was born a couple months ago when you were in the capital. I wish I was there with you, it looked like a lot of fun, I put the feather and picture in my trunk under my clothes so I don't lose them. _

_Was the food any good? You didn't talk about that much, you can you know. It's not rude. I like knowing about other district food, like your bread is sweet right, it has this sticky syrup on it. Is that agave syrup? My dad calls it a glaze, like what we put on sweet rolls here. _

_Oh! Pop wanted me to ask you if you managed to do a rose yet? He said to ask you next time I write to you. I told him you wouldn't have practiced but you're a victor you can do anything right?_

_I put in a couple drawings of Gale for you. I hope he didn't notice that I was watching him in the schoolyard but he doesn't really pay attention to me all that much. Seam kids and townies don't really hang out together much. It's sad, is it like that with your district? I wish we could all hang out together, maybe then I wouldn't be so shy talking to Katniss._

_The snow is really deep now over here, I almost fell and ruined the notebook envelope, it fell in a slushy puddle in the street. I'm sorry I ruined it, can we still use it? My mom said if I loose the envelope she won't pay for a new one it will be my fault for being a clumsy idiot. I don't want to loose touch with you if I ruin the envelope! _(I notice there are smudge marks, I think he must have cried a bit and it marked the paper…I have to find a better envelope…and I really don't much care for his mom now!) _Does it snow in district five? We don't watch the news much at home, pop said you guys live in what your games looked like, are there cliffs that you climb? And big snakes? I'm sorry that I'm asking so many questions, maybe you don't really wanna talk about the games forget I said anything!_

_I have to get going, I have to help pop with the bread today and he promised to show me how to make the ganache after we put the loaves in to bake. That's what you have on your cakes back home, he told me about it, sounds really rich!_

_I hope you like the pictures Ari. I hope to hear from you soon!_

_Keep safe!_

_Peeta_

I turn the pages there are a few of his girl Katniss but he has at least six drawings of Gale. He also put in some drawings of his brothers building a snow fort outside, his dad kneeding bread dough. A still life of the cookies he decorated he even used some colour on them to show the icing.

I am biting on my pen I know. Some of the things I can't tell him, like what it's like being a victor and how I feel about the president. I will have to skirt that issue enough that he's calmed, if I completely avoid the question he will know something is wrong and worry. I like Peeta, he is like the little brother I wished I had, and the last thing I want him to do is worry about me.

_Hi Peeta!_

_So you really like this girl. I haven't had much experience but from watching Seneca chat up the girls it doesn't seem so hard_

"Hey Sen!" I call out to him

"What squirt" he pokes his head outside

"Peeta wants to know how to talk to girls" I look at him seriously, but he breaks into a grin

"Tell Peeta to be himself Ari, if you like him that's a gold star in his favor"

_Seneca says to be yourself, he says if I like you then it shouldn't be too hard to impress Katniss. You are a nice guy Peeta I don't think you should be scared to talk to her. It's not pity you feel but admiration, because you are happy she is doing better and respect her. _

_Gale Hawthorne, yeah maybe it is him, I never asked the mayor his family name, all I know is when I was leaving the cemetery after leaving my flowers for Celena and Archie he and his family were entering. It could be him._

_The Capital was fun! You should have seen how many people were in the streets, it was what we call in district five a 'block party' but the block was the whole capital spilling into the streets dancing and playing and laughing._

_Capital food is way too rich for my liking, its okay in small portions but they put everything into everything. I mean there is this stew they make that is lamb and dried plums. My favorite though is this broth you dunk strips of meat and vegetable in, they call it 'fon-dew'. They like to over do things. _

_I liked your cake back on my tour with the strawberries and cream inside. Its heads and shoulder above anything I got in the capital. _

_Tell your dad I haven't managed to get around trying to do the flower out of icing yet. I'm still doing my school work even over the cold season. I wanna be a doctor. Plus the bakery we have doesn't deal in a lot of icing; they cover cakes in ganache or fondant. So I guess he will have to keep you doing all those decorations. Agave syrup is clear to dark amber and VERY sweet. I don't know if that's what the bakers uses on the bread though._

_It is sad that all the neighborhood kids don't play together. I agree with you though we should all get along, but that would be as my mentor Hellen puts it 'in a perfect world' and nothing is perfect…except your decorating skill._

_We do get snow but not as much as you do in district 12, as fast as it comes it goes, it doesn't last, we get a cold season but it's no where near how cold it was with you guys. District five is A LOT like my arena only no killer snakes and we have access to water much more readily than that place._

I try and swallow but my mouth has gone dry, I still have trouble talking about my games, but surprisingly Peeta asking me about it is helping)_,_

_its okay to ask Peeta don't ever be afraid of asking questions. My dad told me once there are no stupid questions._

_I am sending you some drawings of my 'family' and victor's village, we have this big tree in our village center called a Joshua tree and it's in full bloom._

_Take care my friend,_

_Ari_

_PS: Don't worry I am gonna find a better envelope for the notebook so your mom doesn't have to blow her stack. Don't let her beat you down Peeta you are a GOOD person!_

I take out my sketching supplies and turn to a fresh page I start with the Joshua tree.

"Ari!" Seneca is calling me but I am completely in my drawing zone, it's not until he is yelling from the doorway do I look up half dazed, he chuckles. "You gonna eat sometime today?"

"I had an apple and some cheese after my climb Sen" I reply returning my gaze to my sketch.

"Okay but that was a couple hours ago" he says, he has that tone…the 'I hope you know I am worried about you' tone he gets when I get too focused on something.

I sigh, I know I should eat something more. I am awfully skinny, I never managed to gain a lot of weight after the games, I just burn it off. Hellen and Tracker had filled out faster than I have after their games, so they get worried too. I close my notebook and carry my supplies inside, Seneca has made a big lunch for us.

"So why does Peeta want to know about girls?" Seneca asks taking my notebook and putting a big bowl of soup in front of me.

This is how my brother gets me to talk, take away what I am doing so I focus on the question; he's had to do this a lot lately because I have been nose in book ever since my tour was over. I have even fallen asleep at the kitchen table while studying.

Its my coping mechanism, he had asked our local doctor about it, apparently my brain can't shut off the nightmares so instead I push myself until exhaustion so I don't dream. It works but I'm always tired now. The only time I feel anything but is when I'm focused on drawing.

"He has a crush on a girl in his school, but he doesn't call it that" I start eating.

I know Seneca worries because he isn't eating. When I get down to close to the bottom of my bowl he spoons more in, and he expects me to eat all of it.

"What does he call it?" He smiles, that's another thing I haven't really smiled in a long while.

"'like like'" I smirk in return

"Well I think he has a chance if you like him" Seneca finally starts to eat after I've downed two bowlfuls.

"I think so too" I reply and start on the sandwich.


	17. A Reason for Going

**Disclaimer: **Hunger Games are not mine**!**

**Author's Note: **AS I do every chapter I thank my reviewers! **JB, KL10X and Arrow** (also I thank **Darkmanmod** because he reviewed another chapter in the 69th actually answering the question as to what would his reaction be being saved by Ariana…he hehehe! :P )

Chapter 17

A Reason for Going

It's not long until the blooms fade from my tree signifying spring is here and soon it will be summer and the games. Around mid spring Tracker's grandmother dies, all of us show up for her funeral and we have a wake for her. Tracer moves into Tracker's victor's home with him and now she is helping with making sure I eat, sleep and study like a normal kid.

Tracer is tall like her brother but that's where the resemblance stops. She has dark honey blond hair while Tracker is more flaxen, she has hazel brown eyes while his are green flecked with grey. She has a tan while Tracker has always been fair skinned. They get along fine but they spat more often then Seneca and I. Tracer tends to frequent our house more than Tracker does.

Seneca likes her but doesn't chat her up. I think he has a crush on her but doesn't want to say anything because she's a lot younger than he is. I like her too and she gets me to talk more easily than Seneca can.

She finds me out in the desert perched on a cliff one day in late spring. I have withdrawn even more as the season of the games gets closer.

"You know kiddo you can't get reaped again?" she calls up to me, "and Seneca is safe"

I look down, she can climb so she gets her helmet on and gets up to my level. "what's the worry for?"

"I don't wanna go to the Capitol but Hellen and Tracker tell me I should" I curl up tucking my legs against me, I have gained some weight back, maybe because whenever Tracer finds me she has something for me to eat. Today is no different she hands me an orange already cut into slices and pealed.

"you have to go once Ariana" she says, "just so you can say you were there as a victor, I hear they have a real blast, drinking"

"I'm underage"

"Smoking"

"Disgusting!"

"There is always trashing a hotel room?"

"Can I just pretend I went?" I groan defiance

Tracer laughs, "Afraid not, Hellen even told me to try and get you to loosen up, you've been tense ever since you got back from your tour" she nudges me, "something you don't wanna share?"

"Something I guess" I shrug, "I just don't like the Capitol all that much"

"Who really does I wonder" Tracer leans back as we see the sun start to set, "y'know people can't travel from district to Capitol, they have to be invited"

"Or reaped" I correct

"Yeah but normal people that aren't tributes don't get to see it, not even your friend Peeta, wouldn't it be a gas if you drew what you saw and sent it when you got home?" she quirks her head a bit, "I mean he would have a direct view of capital life"

That's never dawned on me, true Peeta would have never seen the Capitol before! "I guess it would be cool, and Peeta would completely flip if I got some autographs for the notebook"

"See! Now you HAVE a reason to go!" Tracer smiles, her smile is always the warmest, she wraps an arm over my shoulders, "come on kiddo lets get home, I am starved and you should eat too, unless you're saving your apatite for the Capitol" she smirks knowing I do NOT enjoy capital food as much as home cooked stuff.

"Race you home" I smirk and we are off down the cliff face onto our bikes and racing to home.


	18. Prayer answered

**Disclaimer:** I only own the hard cover copies of The Hunger Games…I don't own the right to anything!

**Author's Note:** thanks go out to my fab four reviewers! **JB, KL10X, Arrow and Quinn**!(back from the land of shamrocks and ymmuy bear (…apparently don't ask me I don't drink :P) )

**Chapter 18**

**Prayer answered**

It gets hot over the summer, and the hottest day is always reaping day. Although I know I am safe and so is Seneca and most of my friends are considered adults Tracer is still in the draw. And so is Peeta.

The night before I pray for them, I don't say a lengthy lord's pray, but it is the lord's pray with a twist:

_Our Father in heaven, _

_Hallowed be your name,_

_Your kingdom come,_

_Your will be done, _

_On earth as in heaven._

_Give us today our daily bread._

_Forgive us our sins _

_As we forgive those who sin against us._

_Save _**them**_ from the time of trial _

_And deliver_**them**_ from evil._

But I never say 'us' I always say 'them' when I talk of 'time of trial' and 'delivering from evil'. I said this every night before bed for Seneca using 'him' instead of 'us' and now I am saying it for Tracer and Peeta. I wasn't as religious as mom was but she taught me this one since I could speak. We never said grace at the table, but this was something even my dad the scientist and outdoorsmen did. Then we would say at the end who we are saying this for, and it's always "Tracer and Peeta" now.

I say it three times then I go to sleep.

So now I sit with Tracker and Hellen, I have my bag packed and it's on the train already. Seneca is staying behind since he can't come along without specific invite. But Tracker reassured him the hotel that the rest of the victor's stay at is perfectly secure and I will have a phone line to the training center if I get lonely or scared. Even so he hugs me tight and says he will expect a call from me when I get there safe.

It feels different being on the other side of the podium when the mayor talks about the war. It's even more boring! All I see are the terrified faces of the twelve year olds on their first reaping and the annoyed faces of the eighteen year old waiting to hear if they finally lucked out. Even the ones in between, I can even spot the face I was making on several thirteen year olds on the boy and girl sides. This is trippy, Madame Perusse gets up to the microphone welcomes everyone says happy hunger games and then 'ladies first'

I feel like I did back then, I get swept up in the moment until Hellen grasps my hand and gives a squeeze…it can't be me anymore I'm safe.

But Gwenn Jules isn't. She's sixteen, same age as Tracer, with pale blond hair and green eyes. She has tears in hers she is fighting not to shed. I see her mother and father hold each other as their daughter walks up to the podium. I know she has a younger sister, Mearda but she won't volunteer, she's not of age for the games in any case.

The boys go about the same, Logan Gates, seventeen. Dark hair, dark eyes, I know him all too well. He beat Michael O'Shea up on our first day of school; he was at the community home with me until I won the games and moved out. He is a bully; it might be an advantage for the games but not in any other book. I will let Tracker and Hellen take care of these two since they probably won't listen to a fourteen year old.

They shake hands and head inside as the crowd heads back home, I give Seneca one last hug and Perusse and I head for the train.

"I can't believe it's only been a year Ariana" she says in her haughty capital voice, "You have grown so much why we will have to get you a training bra before you know it!"

"Great Perusse, the first thing you bring up is how more mature I am and not how am I doing since we last saw each other?" I step onto the train, every time she opens her mouth I want to sock her in the teeth.

"Well I KNOW you are doing fine sweetheart" she rolls her eyes at me

"Right, y'know I think I'm going to head for my room now" I reply and turn to the cars meant for returning victors.

They aren't much different than those for tributes except we get a tv in ours. For kicks I put it on.

Flickerman is on and he is talking about previous games, he even shows a clip from mine last year, the part with the pedestals and Nina getting bit and dying not a minute in. At least he isn't showing Farrow or Maverick, I don't think I could handle that. He does however show me doing a mercy kill. I turn it off and head for a hot shower. I change into some clean jeans sandals and white button down blouse. What Hellen describes as my 'sketching' clothes and she isn't far wrong I also bring with me a fresh sketchbook the notebook I retrieved from Mr. Kelvin yesterday and my drawing supplied I keep in a small case.


	19. The Stubborn Streak

**Disclaimer: **you know the drill, I don't own the right to The Hunger Games!

**Author's Note: 1)** thanks go out to my reviewers! **JB, KL10X, Arrow, Quinn **and newbie** Wild (aka anonymous no name)**

**2) **Sorry to say real life is being a real pain so my updates might get sporadic, I will try my hardest to keep to this schedule guys but don't be worried if they are a day late or on different days, all my signed reviewers I will as I always do send you a PM reminder when the next chapter is up. Bear with me people and I apologize in advance for any annoyance this causes.

**3)** sorry short chappie :/

Chapter 19

The Stubborn Streak

The tributes haven't arrived from their dorms yet. Helena and Tracker shrug but I offer to check on Gwenn.

The girl is sitting on her bed hands over her face crying.

"You okay?" I ask, "Gwenn?"

"I said goodbye to my mom and dad and Mearda" she sobs, "Mearda wouldn't stop crying, she didn't want me to go. I feel horrible!"

I go over and sit with her taking one of her hands and doing the thing Darwin did with me. I use the pressure point below the pinky and massage deep, she begins to relax.

"How did you take it Ariana? When you got reaped, I remember you didn't even shed a tear going up" she tilts her head and sniffs

"Nah Seneca did the cryin' out in the district when he said 'see you soon' to me" I reply, "I saved my panic attack for the shower"

She chuckles, "you cried over the shower?"

"Did you see how many buttons there are? And how high up it is?" I look at her smirking, "Hellen had to pick me off the floor I had just collapsed there crying like I broke something"

This gets her to relax a bit more, "so are you going to be my mentor?"

"Me? A fourteen year old?" I joke, "Nah Hellen and Tracker just want me to tag along this year so I get to see what all the fuss is about."

"Can you get Finnick O'dair's autograph for me?" she asks, "that would be a dream come true"

"If you say so I have to get one for a friend anyway" I reply, "now how about getting washed and maybe changing into something clean and not so…." I look at her

"Sweaty and tear stained?" she offers

"I was gonna say dusty but yeah we can say that" I nod

She nods back and I show her the shower, how it works and where her new clothes are and let her get on with it.

We have supper and watch the reapings; my heart doesn't start to race until I see Peeta in the district twelve pens with the other kids. It only calms when Keeth Noland is reaped, he's fifteen and he was standing right next to the grey eyed boy…Gale.

_One down Peeta_ I think to myself_, one down_

No one as young as I was was reaped this year.

I head off to bed, but sleep doesn't come. Since I haven't worked myself to exhaustion I have nightmares again. Thankfully I have stopped screaming in my sleep and just wake with an uncomfortable start. It's always the president turning into a snake now. And sometimes he has me, sometimes it's Hellen and Tracker he has pinned down.

Sometimes Seneca

Sometimes Peeta and Tracer.

This time it was me, it's an old standard by now. I know it, but it still scares me. I get up and head for the dining car. Hellen is up, and she turns to see me.

"Can't sleep either?" she smirks

"Nah, guess I am too wound up still" I reply getting a cup of warm milk from a pitcher

"At least your friend Peeta wasn't reaped" Hellen says to bring up my spirits.

"Yeah at least there is that" I reply, "Did you see Johanna Mason? Crying even when they shook hands?"

"It's not unusual to see people cry so much" Hellen says, "it is a scary thing, to think you might never come home, except in a box"

"Did you ever think that?" I look at her as she stares out the window

"Not coming home you mean?" she asks and I nod, "all the time"

I stare out the window, "I guess I did too, at least partially, but Sen told me to come home so that was a stronger will I guess"

"Or maybe you were just too stubborn" she nudges me and smiles

I still can't will a smile so I smirk, "or that"


	20. Face Off

**Disclaimer: **If I owned the rights I wouldn't be writing fanfiction now would I?

**Author's note: **On time! How about that! Thanks go to my fab FIVE now, **JB, KL10X, Quinn, Arrow **and **Wild**

Chapter 20

Face Off

When morning comes Hellen and I wake in the suede chairs. We never got back to our beds that night. We re-watched the reapings taking notes on the biggest threats from visuals. The career tributes are the largest but that's not always a positive thing.

"If they don't have anything between the ears, muscles will do little to keep them alive" Hellen points out. That's something Farrow said in his interview last year, how the arena plays a big role in who wins and who dies. I was the most accustomed to my arena so it wasn't a contest for me to survive I just had to outlast the rest of them.

Gwenn is up first and laughs at how disheveled we look. She tosses Hellen a brush and she does her hair then mine, then braids it.

We sit down when the boys arrive, then finally Perusse. Gwenn tries hot chocolate for the first time but Logan doesn't touch it, he does however shovel food in his mouth at an ungodly rate, kinda like how I was last year. Unlike how Farrow and I were though, these two aren't all that chatty.

"So what do we do?" Logan finally says looking at Tracker who was reading a newspaper and drinking his coffee.

"Do? Nothing right now, when we get to the capital your prep team and stylist will take you and get you ready for the parade" Tracker replies

Logan looks put off, I think he's gonna be one of the weapon magnates

"That's always fun" I chirp jokingly, "having your hair ripped off your skin" I look at the tributes both look uneasy

"Or your eyebrows plucked" Hellen adds

"What about the body buff" Tracker says

All three of us smile, seeing Logan squirm

"It's over in a flash" I reassure since Gwenn looks a bit uneasy as well, "they will primp you and preen you but Darwin is really nice"

"Oh Darwin" Perusse sighs, "he isn't with us this year" she clucks sitting down

"What?" I look at the capital clown annoyed

"Oh yes he's teaching those aiming to be stylists and part of prep teams now" she smiles benignly, "very respected job y'know"

"But! I thought!" I look at Hellen who shakes her head gently, we don't have power here

"Don't you worry we should have some good stylists, after all we are the returning victor district" Perusse tries to reassure

We pull into the station and I get Gwenn at least to wave at the capital citizens, Logan holds back being aloof.

When we arrive the two tributes are shunted off to the prep building while Hellen, Tracker and I go to Victor's hall.

Until tonight I will be hanging out with them, then they head for the tribute tower and I head to The Royal, it's the hotel all the returning victors go to if they are just visiting.

The hall is packed; it's not just for victors but would be sponsors. All vying to place money on tributes they like.

We are instantly recognized since I am with my mentors. Brutus who was Maverick's mentor last year finds us first.

Brutus is a big man, not in height but very muscled. He shakes my hand and welcomes me, and also adds that he will be staying at the Royal this year since Enobaria and a previous male victor from two will be taking charge of the mentoring this year.

"Oh that's good" Tracker sighs, I think he was worried I would be heading there alone, "so you and Ariana can take a taxi together"

Brutus nods, "of course, don't want her getting lost"

"Where is Finnick?" Hellen asks

"Probably chatting up some pretty little thing" Brutus says looking around, "come on Ariana I want to introduce you to some people"

"Not Enobaria" I say pointedly

"She isn't that bad" he says calmly but he seems to not believe what he is saying either, "but no I want to introduce you to Gloss and Cashmere" he leads me away to a pair that could be twins

"So that's the twerp" The girl says, she shakes my hand, "well, well done I suppose"

"Come on Cash" the guy says, "its not like she had a choice" he shakes my hand as well, "what do you think of the hall Ariana"

"Too early to tell Mr. Gloss" I reply

"Oh look they are putting the new picture up" says an older lady

I look up and they have put paintings along the top of the wall, a new one is being placed right beside Tracker's. When they remove the cloth my likeness is beside his, in my tribute outfit of my games.

"Not a bad likeness" the lady says she comes over, "I'm Seeder by the way" she shakes my hand, "District Eleven"

I remember hearing of her games, she didn't kill a single person just outlasted them, "it's a pleasure meeting you Miss Seeder"

She smiles and brushed her hand over my hair, she seems really nice and refined, "if you'll excuse me I think I have to make sure Chaff isn't embarrassing himself with Haymitch"

Brutus leads me around, introducing me to everyone except Enobaria.

No her and I square off when he sets me at the bar with a virgin Daiquiri. I am looking at this reddish frosty drink when someone sits beside me.

"You were pretty brutal to Jade" her voice is cool and a bit mottled from what she did to her mouth

"And you weren't to Xania?" I counter turning and staring at the lady who killed my friend

"Y'know its part of the game" she tries to justify ripping Xania's throat out

"At least when I killed they died quickly and weren't mutilated!" I hiss

She stares at me and I glare right back, everyone seems to stop talking and just watch us stare each other down

"Don't think you are any better than us kid" she sniffs looking away first

"I don't think" I simply say taking a drink of the now known tasty beverage and go to find Brutus. I think I am ready to leave for the hotel.

I get to the hotel a little before the parade; I dump my bag on the very large bed and take a shower. I get into my pajamas and call Seneca.

"_Hello?"_

"Sen?"

"_Ari! How is the capital?"_

"Fine….I met a few victors today"

"_Did you meet Finnick yet?"_

"No not yet, but I met Enobaria"

There is a silence that hangs

"_How did it go?"_

"She's still alive"

Seneca chuckles, _"good I was worried you might have smashed her head in with a bottle of tequila, seen Haymitch?"_

"No but I'm goin' back tomorrow anyway, that's where all the victors go to hang out, and I don't feel like being mobbed if I go exploring the streets on my own"

"_You just be careful, and if you want to wander the streets take an older victor with you"_ he pauses, _"just not Enobaria"_ he says, _"love you squirt, sleep well"_

"'night Sen"

I watch the parade by TV not by looking out the window and groan. Our stylist is a moron he has our tributes in radiation suits, faces covered. It has only been a year and yet it feel like mine were the golden years of the games. The other pairs are waving too. Mason is still sobbing away.

Flickerman talks about each district but I start to tune out. It's been a long and disappointing day. I go to sleep.


	21. The Last of The Old Rules

**Disclaimer:** Suzanne Collins owns the rights not me…got it? Good!

**Author's Note:** Muchas gracias a mis revisores (many thanks to my reviewers) **KL10X, Quinn, Arrow and Wild, and JB**...who wasn't in the list this time around but is hard at work with her internship. :)

Chapter 21

The Last of The Old Rules

Brutus comes to collect me the next morning. I think Tracker has asked him to take care of me when he and Hellen aren't around. He smiles as I come out in my drawing clothes, notebook, sketchpad and drawing tools in my satchel.

"Guess you won't be talking much" he says, "You held your own with 'Baria so I don't think you'll have any problems doing your own thing" he sees that I have taken out the notebook Peeta and I have been writing to each other with. "Boyfriend?"

"Just a friend I met on my tour" I reply, "I'm surprising him by getting some autographs"

"I wouldn't mind signing" he replies.

"Yeah but I'm drawing everyone first" I reply back, "don't worry Mr. Brutus when I'm ready I'll ask"

"It's just Brutus kid" he chuckles, "did you call Enobaria Ms.?"

"No"

"Why not?"

"Because she doesn't deserve respect when she mutilated bodies on national television" I reply as we get outside to the taxi that takes us to Victor's Hall.

Tracker and Hellen are already there, already eaten and changed. Hellen comes over and hugs me and takes me to get some breakfast.

"Finnick should be joining us soon" she says smiling

"Hellen why should I even be happy about that?" I say coolly, still on edge about Enobaria.

Hellen sighs, "not all victors are snobs sweetheart" she explains, "some are really nice, Brutus is a nice guy, a bit rough around the edges but he wasn't rude to you was he?"

"No" I reply opening my notebook and starting to sketch. She takes it away and pushes a plate of eggs and toast in front of me

"You can work on your notebook after you eat Ari." She says pointedly

"Ah let'er be Hellen" comes the unmistakable slur or Haymitch, I break into a grin get up and hug him.

I can feel Hellen smile behind me, although Haymitch is taken aback in surprise, finally he wraps an arm around me.

"You try getting her to eat then Abernathy" Hellen sighs comically, "it's an ongoing struggle for us to make sure she doesn't become a walking skeleton"

"I was just drawing" I reply

"Yes but you know as well as we do that you tend to forget to eat when you start on your sketching" Hellen says pointing a fork at me

"She is right y'know" Haymitch says leading me back to the table, "I'll have something with you, I've eaten but capital food is pretty good"

"Home cooked meals are pretty good, this stuff is overkill" I reply poking at the scrambled eggs with ham and onion and herbs in it, "they can't make things simple?"

Haymitch chuckles, "guess not" he starts on some toast and jam, I do the same. When finally I have finished my plate and Hellen and Tracker are satisfied I won't waste away she hands me back my notebook.

Haymitch looks on as I have started to sketch Brutus. "not bad" he says mouth half full and swallows, "is that the notebook Harry told me about?"

"You know Mr. Mellark?" I ask

"Yeah we went to school together, I visit his bakery once in a while, he says Peeta has a penpal" he smiles, "guess that's you"

"We've been writing for almost a year this coming cold season" I reply, "tracer said he never saw the capital so it's the only reason I came is to show him what its like"

Haymitch nods, "well that's mighty kind of you, sure he'll love it"

"I think so too" I reply.

The hall starts to really fill up since the tributes are in the training. There is a whispering that starts and soon Hellen and Tracker are back at the table looking angry.

"They can't do that!" tracker is fuming, "they won't be ready"

"What happened?" I ask looking at my mentors

"They have shortened training to a week" Hellen says, "four days as a group, three as district and interviews Sunday"

"Outrageous!" Ms. Seeder comes over and sits with us, she looks at me, "guess you were the last of the old rules dear" she sighs

"How are we supposed to prepare tributes in such a short time?!" tracker says, "can't we appeal to the game makers?"

"And say what? It's unfair?" Haymitch comes over with Chaff, a tall man with a missing hand, "the whole of the games is unfair Tracker"

"Oh go say it to your flask Haymitch" Tracker snaps

I slam my notebook on the table, "enough will ya?" I look at Tracker who is shocked at my outburst, "adapt like any good being does! It's luck pure and simple that gets us all out of it anyway"

"Ari!" Hellen says looking as shocked as Tracker.

I growl pick up my drawing gear and head for the bar.

Hellen makes to follow but I hear Haymitch say as I leave, "let her go she needs to cool off"


	22. Mr O'Dair

**Disclaimer**: I will never ever EVER own the rights to The Hunger Games

**Author's Note:** hey I'm doing well posting on the days I put out, maybe I jumped the gun in warning you guys...well for now it stands I'm lucky enough to post when I can

Thanks go to my reviewers! **JB, Quinn, KL10X, Wild** (and **Arrow** who is absent last chapter) for here and **Darkmanmod** for finishing the 69th, he is now reading Roads so let's all welcome him to the reading circle. This chapter goes out to **Wild** who was eager to see Finnick and Ariana.

Chapter 22

Mr. O'Dair

The barkeep Raul gives me virgin strawberry daiquiris each time I run out and at lunch he gets me to down a sandwich. Hellen and Tracker leave me alone, maybe it because Haymicth told them; maybe it's because they don't know how to approach this subject with me.

I know I'm right, if Celena and Archie we're district twelve tributes last year they wouldn't have helped Farrow keep the careers from tailing me. If Maverick hadn't broken his alliance early he wouldn't have saved my life on day eight.

It was pure chance that I won.

Not that I'm not grateful, but luck was on my side.

I don't realize someone is leaning against the bar until I look up. Inwardly I groan I don't feel all that chatty right now.

But it's Finnick O'dair that break the would be comfortable silence.

"They don't understand it from our point of view y'know" he says

"What view is that Mr. O'dair" I say going back to drawing Chaff now with Haymitch.

"How we all won" he looks down at my drawing, "Chaff is taller by the way, he stoops to Haymitch's height"

I look up at him. Tall, blond, sea green eyes and a tan that rivals Tracers. He is wearing pale dress pants and a white oxford shirt with the sleeves rolled up, but its only buttoned halfway revealing his bare chest. I can understand why Gwenn wanted his autograph but I don't find him in any way appealing personally. Harry and Peeta have more character in their eyes than Finnick.

"I suppose you agree with them? How it's unfair what the game makers have decided?" I go back to the sketch

"Truthfully? I know we don't have a chance to get the game makers to see it from our point of view" he says, "but that's not the point"

"And what is?" the tip of my pencil breaks and Raul is there with a small ashtray I can use to drop my shavings into.

"That its pointless arguing amongst ourselves" he looks down at me, "you and I were young when we won, we have a different view of the games than someone who won when they were eighteen, they think its skill, we know its luck, heck if I didn't get the stuff from my sponsors I would have been dead"

I am starting to warm to him I can see why he is called charming by Hellen. "Hellen says you were looking forward to meeting me"

"Why wouldn't I be? 'angel of mercy' plus you stared down Enobaria, you have an attitude we don't see much" he smirks, "plus you're pretty handy with your pencil" he looks over my shoulder, "may I?"

I hold the notebook closer to me, "this is a bit private Mr. O'dair"

"Its Finnick kiddo" he corrects me, "don't worry I won't read anything" he holds out his hand and I hand over my notebook.

He flips thru the notebook, "you're not the only one drawing in this, the styles differ"

"My friend Peeta and I send pictures back and forth" I reply

"Lucky guy" Finnick leafs thru it, "boyfriend?"

"Just a friend, why did you and Brutus ask that? I'm just fourteen" I ask

He chuckles, "just teasing you" he smiles, "you don't joke in District Five?"

"We have a sense of humor" I reply, "Seneca doesn't tease me I guess I don't get teased much"

"You have to lighten up kiddo" he hands the notebook back to me, "life is way too short to not smile and have fun, and you're young!"

"I have my whole life to do something worthwhile" I say to him, "life can't always be parties and drinking"

"Can't it?" he smirks letting me get back to my notebook.


	23. Apologies

**Disclaimer: **I think next sequel I just put up a disclaimer once at the veeeery beginning, but again I say thing…I do not own the right to The Hunger Games

**Chapter 23**

**Apologies**

The first week goes slow, apparently the new rule change is being challenged by the mentors despite what Haymitch said. They relent and give another half week but warn next year the rule will not be bent. It calms the mob, I would bend to if I was a game maker, just the thought alone of what some of the mentors did in their games would cause me to allow them this request.

Finnick grows on you, no matter how hard I try to make myself fade into the background he find me and chats me up, not in any way seductive more friendly. I guess I remind him that not all winners are legal age when they win. We chat about what we did on our tour and he brings up Nina's family. Apparently when me and my entourage left they felt guilty, mainly because Mags one of the oldest living victors went to their house after I left and told them off. They wanted to apologize but had no way of contacting me. I decide to give my address to him; maybe they will be brave enough to write to me. I do feel bad about Nina, the first to fall in my games from mutt-snake venom, but I guess that's what they call strategy…you can't warn someone just for them to kill you later.

Hellen finally comes over one day to talk to me; my mentors have been giving me ample space since I snapped at them. Tracker feels horrible but he doesn't know how to apologize. That's how guys are I guess I will have to break the ice with him later today.

Hellen puts her chin on my shoulder as I sit at the bar. I have drawings of all the noteworthy victors. I'm just finishing one of Beetee and his counterpart Wiress when she comes over.

"I'm sorry we acted how we did sweetheart" she says, "I guess we forgot your games that fast"

"Yeah you did" I say closing the notebook, all that's left to do is get autographs which I will do in later tonight.

"But you have to admit its was also skill that got you out of there" she points out, "you knew how to survive in the arena, thrive even"

"Yeah but if I didn't have alliances I would have been dead long before my birthday Hellen" I retort, "luck had a big part to play"

She sits beside me; "okay so we both agree the other has a point?" she knows she can't force me to agree to her opinion

"I guess" I look to where Tracker is sitting, he looks upset. "what's wrong with Tracker?"

Hellen sighs, "the rule change upset him the most I guess, since Tracer is still in the running"

"Yeah but she barely has the numbers for her to get picked he knows that" I counter, "he has nothing to worry about"

Hellen shakes her head, "it doesn't matter Ari, he still worries just like any good older brother does"

This hits me, I realize I haven't called Seneca since the parade and make a note to call him tonight. I think Tracker needs a sisterly moment and I guess I will have to do so by proxy since Tracer ain't around.

"'m gonna talk to him" I say softly

Hellen gives me a peck on the cheek as I hop off my barstool.

"Hey" I say coming to the table

Tracker looks up from his magazine, he hasn't flipped a page in a while and they were just photographs of the tributes. "hey" he replies

I motion as in asking to sit and he kicks a chair out for me.

"I guess you have a bit more time with Gwenn and Logan" I say as an icebreaker.

"Not that it will do any good" he mutters

"Tracker you trained both Farrow and I last year alone, you have Hellen with you it should take you half the time" I am trying to build up his spirits

"But four day Ari? Last year we had a whole week!" he looks at me concerned

"Okay so what has to happen? You have Logan Tracker, I think all you have to do with him is maybe get him to work on the knowledge he needs and not so much the physical stuff" I point out, "Hellen has to do the opposite with Gwenn, if you can get Logan to not want to swing a sword around all the time he should last a while"

"You don't think he'll win?" he looks curious, "not much hope is there"

"Darwin told me last year there is a spark in victors, spark of life or hope he never said, but Gwenn was thinking of her family on the train, and Logan just shoveled food in his mouth. When Farrow and I were on the train my biggest panic was how I was gonna look for the sponsors if I couldn't get clean and Farrow was protecting me, I don't see them getting recognized unless they wow the game makers or are charming enough with Caesar"

"Shrude" he looks back at the magazine then tosses it on the table, "so what would you do?"

"my best" I answer, "fill Logan's head with knowledge, if he learns enough he might make a good run, and Gwenn has to step up" I look at him evenly, I can't believe I am giving Tracker pointers, maybe I did have some skill in my games.

**Author's Note:** yes I know its mean that Ariana doesn't have much hope for her tributes, they didn't wow her. I guess a tribute needs charismas as well as brains and brawn.

Thanks to my trio of reviewers this chapter **JB, KL10X **and** Arrow **(**Quinn, Wild** where dija go?)


	24. Luck or Skill and Photo Op

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the Hunger games…got it?

**Author's Note:** **First **as always thanks to my trio of reviewers, **KL10X, Arrow **and** Wild**.

**Second **Yes on time again!

**Third** self doubt can be destructive as you will see; thankfully our little gem of a victor has big brother right?

**Chapter 24**

**Luck or Skill and Photo Op**

My words don't hit home until I get back to my room that night. The phone rings.

"Hello?" I say a bit tired

"_Ariana?"_ its Gwenn…odd

"Evening Gwenn everything okay?" I ask

"_Yeah, no…I mean…Ariana they want me to use weapons and I'm useless!"_ she sounds worried

"You aren't useless Gwenn you just need to practice" I reply, "everyone is useless with something new that why we practice"

"_The career districts are really good though"_ she says sullenly

"They aren't called careers for nothing Gwenn; you just have to put in the effort"

"_Can you be there for our district training? I asked Hellen and she's looking into it"_

I feel warmed that Gwenn who is much older than me wants me there as an advisor

"We'll see 'kay? But trust Hellen she knows what she's doing"

"_Right"_ there is a pause, _"well I guess I should get some sleep and you sound tired"_

"Call anytime Gwenn" I reply then the line goes dead

Makes me want to call Seneca, I do, not knowing if he's asleep

"_Hello?"_ his groggy voice comes over the speaker

"Sorry Sen did I wake you?" I ask concerned

"_Ari! No *yawn* well yeah but its okay, are you alright?"_ now he sounds concerned

"Fine just wanted to talk" I pause, "they shortened training now, it really made people mad"

There is rustling I guess he was asleep, _"something is bothering you other than that squirt what is it?"_

"Was it luck?" I ask

"_What was luck?"_

"Me winning, was it luck? Skill? Could I have won in a different arena? With different tributes?"

I know I sound worried because it takes Seneca a minute to figure an answer

"_Ariana, what did I tell you the day you were reaped, you're a smartass, I am sure if you were in a jungle or a forest you would have still done fine, and dad always said we could have put you in the middle of a waste land and you'd have found a way to live off dew and bugs if you had to"_

"So it wasn't luck?"

"_I didn't say that"_ he sighs, _"everything owes its outcome to chance, that's why we are picked from a glass bowl and not singled out due to being big and strong, it is as much chance than skill I guess, some things we have no control over, and some things we do, its that balance that make people win I guess" _he pauses, _"does that help?"_ he sounds hopeful

I shrug and realize he doesn't see me only hear me, "I guess it does…how are things back home?"

* * *

Unfortunately they do not allow me to advise on the district training. I watch their scores go up, a seven for Gwenn and a nine for Logan. No matter how hard I try my mind keep thinking I am being too negative. Mason gets a nine but I don't know what to make of her since each time I see her she is a sniveling wreck. Even her mentors can't figure the angle; anyone will just put her out of her misery in the arena.

Who wants to hear a teenager sob for god knows how many nights?!

Flickerman interviews go off well, but nothing noteworthy. I try and pay attention but my mind keeps playing mine and Farrow's interviews and I see something lacking. This year's tributes have no flare, sure the careers seem to be easy to joke and play with but apart from that? I don't know what to make of them. I think I'm being too harsh on this year's group.

The night before the launch I am in the victor's hall late. Almost all pictures are autographed. My letter to Peeta takes up three pages. But I am stuck, I feel that spark of life fade from me as I think that in a matter of days maybe no more than a week twenty three kids will be dead again.

The hall is full, as normal Finnick is hobnobbing with some well-to-dos lining up his sponsors even before the gong is struck tomorrow. Enobaria is doing likewise. Others are milling around some are already saying goodbye because some mentors head straight home after their tributes die…its disgusting the lack of confidence they have. But am I any better? I had told Tracker that Gwenn and Logan might make a good run but I never said they would win. In fact I don't know who would win everyone is almost level playing field to me until we see the arena.

"Excited?" Finnick saddles up

"You seem to be, weren't you just talking to that lady before?" I say looking up from my letter

"Already have her in my back pocket, you didn't answer my question kiddo" he looks at me concerned

"I don't know what to make of the tributes this year, maybe I'm being harsh on 'em or maybe I am comparing them to those who fell last year…they just don't glow" I reply

Finnick chuckles I guess its that I used the word 'glow' which is just making him think of those god awful radiation suits in the parade, "I see what you mean, even the careers are a bit lackluster"

"So I'm not being harsh on 'em?" I look at Finnick

"Who's to say? I guess the only person you have to prove yourself to is yourself, if you think you're being too harsh lighten up, if you think you're too soft toughen up" he looks at me, "personally I think you are being fair, I think last years games scared the life out of this years group, with those snakes"

I shudder, I hated those snakes, and flashes of putrefied limbs flash in my head.

"Don't get me started with the snakes" I mutter

"Forget I said a word" he says, "but you ate them not me!" he jokes

I manage a smile

"That's what I wanted to see!" he says taking out a camera, "mind?" he shows it to me, "I told Annie I would get a picture of you and I if I could make you smile"

I look at him dubiously but then Finnick pokes me in the stomach playfully and I smile again he tosses the camera to Raul who snaps a couple shots of us. He promises to send me copies when he gets home.


	25. Flashbacks Can't Hurt

**Disclaimer: **No I don't own The Hunger Games, Suzanne Collins does

**Authoer's Note:** Thanks go to my reviewers **KL10X, Arrow and Quinn**

**Chapter 25**

**Flashbacks Can't Hurt**

The launch happens really early but Brutus gets me around ten in the morning. He went to a coffee shop and got me chocolate milk and a sandwich. Hellen had barked at him to make me eat and he doesn't allow me to leave the hotel until I have finished my breakfast. I will have to tell Hellen I don't need all the victors looking out for me. I already have her, Tracker and Raul. We arrive in victor's hall an hour later to see the gong go off.

I regret ever coming because of this moment. I wish I hadn't eaten, my stomach churns unpleasantly, and I feel weak. Brutus notices this before Hellen and Tracker do and has me sit with my head between my legs.

"Easy just breath" he says calmly, Finnick comes over followed by Hellen

"I forgot" Hellen says taking over, "just…don't think about it okay look away" she says she looks at Finnick who shrugs then he gets an idea and Wiress and Seeder take me outside.

Seeder sits beside me on the park bench outside the hall while Wiress hums soothingly.

"'m sorry" I mumble

"Flashback can't hurt can they?" Wiress looks a bit dreamy like she's asking the air or a ghost for the answer

"Of course not" seeder replies, "just jarring, Finnick had a full blown panic attack remember Wiress?"

"Not me! Not me! Not me!" she says mimicking someone sitting in the fetal position rocking back and forth

"And what did we say?" she says

"Games are a monster" Wiress seems to be a born again actor because she gets up and pantomimes someone sword fighting, "we have to do things we don't normally do to survive!" she thrust her imaginary sword into and imaginary foe and pulls it out liking the imaginary blood off the blade

The gong goes off but we don't go in.

Beetee comes out about ten minutes later. "time to go Wiress" he says

That fast? It happened that fast? I look shocked.

"You gonna be okay Ariana?" he asks as Seeder has started a freedom braid in my hair

"Yeah I think so" I get up and I go and hug Wiress, "thanks Wiress"

"Angel" she hugs back, "gonna fly now" and Beetee steers her away by the shoulder for the next train home.

Seeder and I get up and head inside.

"Ms Seeder?" I ask

"Yes dear?" she looks at me her dark brown eyes caring and calm

"Why is Wiress like that? Is it because of the games?" I ask, I like Wiress but she seems out of place with her surroundings half the time. Beetee seems to be her constant companion unless Seeder is watching her.

"She was very shy in her games" Seeder explains, "after she won it made her more withdrawn but Beetee helps her; unfortunately he says she hasn't improved much"

"Will she get worse?" I worry for her, even if she is older than me Wiress seems more childlike than I am sometimes clinging to Beetee in strange situations. Beetee never minds.

"Beetee isn't hopeful, though he is willing to stay with her" Seeder says sadly, "off you go Ari, I have to keep track of my tributes now" she sends me off to sit with Tracker and Hellen who welcome me back

"Feeling better?" Tracker asks, "sorry we couldn't be with you but we both wanted to keep an eye on Logan and Gwenn?"

"How are they doing?" I ask

"Still alive but neither grabbed a weapon, we will have to see" Hellen says, she point to the screen, they are in a dense forest this year. Wood will be in abundance but water might not, unless there is a stream

"What's the terrain?" I ask

Tracker looks at me quizzically, "why?"

"They need water" I say, "so unless there is a large water source we have to assume they put a stream or something somewhere"

Hellen nods, "come with me" she takes me by the hand and leads me to a table where the other victors are looking at, it has a topographical representation of the arena and this is huge! There are blinking lights and if you touch one it give you the district name. One thru twelve. On one edge it has the districts, district three six and eight are blacked out.

"Okay water source" Hellen mutters looking at the map, "stream that leads north to south, and at the far end it opens up a bit more, but apart from that not much"

I nod, "do we know what Gwenn and Logan have as supplies?"

"No they won't show unless there isn't much going on" Hellen says, "you've perked up a good bit"

We hear a cannon and I start. She leads me back and I sit sipping water, my mouth has gone dry. I really have to get a handle on this! It's silly to think we are in the games still.

I try and stay calm and when it gets too much I head outside to sit in the open air. Its not so bad some residents recognize me and we chat until they remember they were going to get supper, they always have this apologetic face when they have to go. I don't like being famous, especially for the games to have made me so, but it makes them happy so I guess it's not that bad in some cases.

I keep this up for the week, for two kids from my district to last a whole week is something interesting. I start to wonder why until it dawns on me. The arena has them spread out so much it would be easy for them to stay safe.


	26. A Victor's Birthday

**Disclaimer **: I do not own the rights to the hunger games…got it?

**Author's Note:** Many thanks to my reviewers **JB, Arrow,**** Wild ,****KL10X **and newest reviewer** THGlover4life (later to be known as THG4)  
**

**Chapter 26**

**A Victor's Birthday**

The following week my birthday has me sitting in the victor's hall; my tributes are still in it a bit worse for wear but still fighting to stay in it.

Being at the games but not having to be IN the games is strange, nothing is happening except the occasion crying fit Johanna Masson is putting on due to them all being spread out.

I don't care much for watching the screens, I know one day I will have to but I leave it to Tracker and Hellen.

I sit at the bar and Raul gives me a virgin daiquiri. I sip at it while listening to the music being played on the speaker system. We don't have disks of music at home anything we have is usually played live by those who know how to sing or play instruments. But in the Capitol they have libraries of music, which date all the way back to before the great disasters. I start singing the chorus softly to myself as I sketch in my sketch book, it was played before and I pick up lyrics easily. Before I know it I hear someone else taking on the song as well.

Finnick sits beside me and is singing, he gives a wink. He offers me his hand and I hop off my stool to be twirled around by him. The other mentors shake their heads at us being silly; no one is in immediate danger so why not have a bit of fun? Finnick did say I have to loosen up.

"Isn't it your birthday Ari?" Finnick asks

I blush, its enough of an answer. He smiles, "we have to celebrate!" he calls Raul to get a cake for me, and candles before we know it the music is turned up and everyone is getting into the spirit.

That's why when we hear the first thunderclap and the crash of a lightning bolt it comes as a shock and everyone including me looks at the screen.

An electrical storm, it has all the tributes on their feet and running for shelter. Some were unfortunate and sleeping off the ground in trees. Two cannons go off in a row. But no district is removed from the board.

But it does take two careers off the map.

"Citizens were getting bored" Haymitch says coming over, "like the sandstorm last year"

"Or the flood Annie's year" Finnick adds as another cannon goes off and district twelve is taken off the list.

I look to Haymitch who shrugs, takes a long pull of his flask and heads off without another word. I feel bad for him. I make to go to him but Finnick puts a steadying hand on my shoulder.

"Let him go kiddo, he is not in the chatty mood" he says

Brutus and I head back to hotel late. I have a huge smile splattering my face; I tried champagne tonight, much to Hellen and Tracker's dismay. I am giggly and giddy. Of course it was cut with orange juice; even so I had four mimosas. My head spins, I remind myself not to do this again unless I am home safe and not in the Capitol. We get off the elevator and Brutus walks with me until he has to turn a corner.

"You gonna be okay Ari?" he asks.

"Yep!" I say chipper, "'m just down th' hall an' to th' left I can get there"

"You sure?" He doesn't look convinced.

"Yep 'night Brutuss" I say smiling and head for my room.


	27. Surprise

**Disclaimer: **I hold no rights to The Hunger Games, wish I did though sometimes…..

**Author's Note: 1)** thanks go out to my reviewers **THG4, JB, KL10X, Wild, Quinn **and** Arrow**

**2)** this is a stable week but next week I might only be able to post on Thursday, we will have to see

**3)** I am surprised you guys are so trusting of hotels XD

**Chapter 27**

**Surprise**

If I wasn't drunk I would have been more aware of things around me. How my door was ajar. How there was a man standing outside it looking bored. I go in and the lights are on.

"Hello there" The man sitting on my bed says, he's big, and not in the healthy way that Harry is or Brutus. He's fat and sweaty.

I blink a few times, "am I in the right room?" I look at my key and the door…yes this is my room.

"Yes you are, I'm Horace Kaleer" he comes over and touches my hair, "you are a pretty thing aren't you"

I pull my head away the alcohol negated by the adrenaline running thru me as this man a stranger has touched me even fleetingly, "I think you have the wrong room"

"No nononono" he says, "President Snow said I could visit you"

"President Snow isn't my mentor or my guardian" I look back at him defensively

"Don't worry I'll be gentle" he tries to steer me to his lips but I push away

He does not take that well, "what gives? I paid him to visit you for the night!" he grabs my arm, squeezing it hard to pull me towards him.

"Get off me!" I step on his instep and he hits me across the face causing me to hit the floor.

"Get over here you whelp!" he says as I scramble to my feet run for the phone next to my bed and then the bathroom locking the door behind me.

I mean to call Hellen and Tracker but the room spins wildly and I throw up in the toilet.

I will never get drunk again.

Horace bangs on the door but he's not bright enough to try and pick the lock or break it down.

My hands are shaking but I manage the phone number to the training center and get district level five.

"_Hello? Who's this?"_ it's Hellen thank god!

"Hellen! Hellen help!" I waste no time, what I need is exactly what I tell her, I need help and NOW

"_Ariana? What's wrong? What's happening?"_ She sounds upset and angry, defensive like any good victor would be at hearing panic

Horace takes that moment to bang on the door and I am so frightened I cry out in fear

"_Hold on Ariana help is coming! Stay where you are and do NOT under any circumstances open that door until we have it under control!"_ she barks at me, I know its not directed at me but she's coming thru loud and clear, still doesn't help my nerves though

"Please hurry Hellen I'm scared!" I cry and I know if she was here she would have done so much damage to Horace for scaring me so

"_Don't worry we're coming!"_ she reassure and the line goes dead.

I take a fluffy towel and wrap myself in it, I'm sweating out the alcohol, and I'm terrified.

I think he's gone but when I think it's safe he starts banging again. It takes an agonizing hour but then I hear voices I know.

"Get outta here!" Brutus booms

"I paid for the night!" Horace slurs drunkenly…apparently he attacked the mini bar

"She's fifteen you sick bastard!" Tracker growls

Someone comes to the door, "Ariana? Ariana are you okay?" Finnick!

I hear scuffling and someone tossed out the room.

"It's okay Ariana he's gone!" Finnick says , "can I come in?"

I unlock the door but I stay far away from it after and I take the plunger in my hand, it's not a blade but I can swing it hard enough to knock whoever comes at me enough to disorientate them

Finnick opens the door, "Ariana?" he opens the door wide then waits at the threshold.

I drop the plunger in numb hands and rush to him crying burying my face in his chest.

He wraps me in his arms, "it's okay you're safe now"

"She okay Finn?" Brutus comes over

"Shaken but not harmed or at least not that I can see" he replies

When Brutus pulls me away they see my jaw is red and beginning to bruise, and I had winced when Brutus touched my arm, I'm pretty sure that's bruising too.

"I should have broken the bastard's arm" he grumbles

Tracker comes over, "come on Ari I'm taking you to tribute tower you're gonna stay with us"

We get to the tower and Finnick escorts us to our level after I get checked, nothing was broken, they rubbed some salve that cools my jaw and upper arm, I am sure the bruising is less now. Tracker gets me settled down for the night in Gwenn's old room. But I overhear them.

"What happened?" Hellen asks

"They started her early" Finnick says I hear the *chink* as he has opens a glass decanter and has poured himself something to drink.

"She's underage!" Hellen cries, Tracker hushes her

"You know why they did that" Tracker says at a hissed whisper

"It's wrong Tracker!" she spits back, "was she hurt?"

"Just a bruised jaw, and upper arm" Finnick replies, "she's more shaken than anything, she'll pull thru though she's resilient"

I hear someone move and get close to my room I pretend to sleep. The door stays open

"I'm going to have words with the game makers and Snow" Hellen says

"Are you insane?!" Tracker asks

"She's innocent Tracker they were going to defile her! A fifteen year old girl!" she snaps at him

"Okay well wait until you aren't spitting mad then? We don't want them killing you on site" Tracker says to try and calm her down

"He has a point Hellen" Finnick says


	28. Tributes Down

**Disclaimer: **Not mine! The Hunger Games are not mine! Disclaim disclaim disclaim!

**Author's Note:** Wow! Could not believe the reaction last chapter! Thanks to my reviewers **JB, KL10X, Arrow **and** Quinn**

Chapter 28

Tributes down

The next day Hellen isn't around. I know she has gone to defend me against the game makers and Snow. Tracker doesn't say anything. We head down for breakfast. I put ice on the bruise on my jaw when Seeder and Chaff come over.

"We heard" Chaff says taking me by the chin and examining my bruise, "you hurt him I hope kid"

"I stepped on his instep" I say bashfully

"Next time knee them in the groin they fall faster" he says, it actually make me feel better, he's not coddling me.

Seeder wraps me in her arms. "where is Hellen?"

"Where do you think?" Tracker says

The three of them are quiet; I start to sit when two cannons go off. We look and on two screens we see the remaining careers standing over Gwenn and Logan's bodies.

Are tributes are down.

My gut twists and I run to the washroom. Too much happening too fast has made me loose what little breakfast I could hold down. When I come out Tracker is reading a note.

"Who's it from?" I ask getting a glass of water

"Hellen she says to head home without her, she'll catch up" he says folding the note, "want to head home?"

As much as I want to say bye to everyone the pull to get back to home turf is stronger.

"Maybe just say by to Brutus and Finnick" I say

"If we can get them away from the screens their tributes are still in it" Tracker says.

A canon goes off and Brutus is shocked when not long after Gwenn is killed Johanna has lured his male tribute into a trap, she is now wiping her blade on her shirt.

It was all a ploy.

I hadn't figured it as such.

Enobaria storms out but Brutus hangs back, he smirks at us and grabs me by the shoulders. "for your first run as a victor you held yourself well kid" he says, he doesn't hug me he's not that kind of guy but I know he means well.

"Thanks Brutus" I say to him and he heads off to catch up with his fellow victor.

Finnick finds us as we are packing our things.

He stands at the elevator, "hey kiddo"

"Hey" I say as I wait for Tracker

"So" he pauses, "what's the plan for when you get home?"

"Back to studying, and I have to let Peeta know I won't be along for the tour since it won't be Gwenn or Logan" I reply

He nods sagely, "well study hard…and…y'know, pay attention" he gives me this look, its like he is trying to pass along a message.

I think I get him, from the conversation I heard last night and Hellen not showing up…the capital is not a safe place for anyone.

"I will, you keep safe Finnick" I reply as Tracker comes over

"Coming too Finn?" he asks

"Nah I still have a kid in this game can't leave yet" he replies, "you take care of our live wire Track" he messes up my hair.

"You know I will" Tracker rolls his eyes at him.


	29. Promises

**Disclaimer: **Y'know I do own the right to The Hunger Games…..NOT! :D I kid because I love but seriously I don't own them.

**Author's Note:** Thanks go out to my reviewers **JB, Wild, KL10X **and** Arrow**. Also I know its a day early, and its short, I will try and post again on Tuesday but NO promises!

Chapter 29

Promises

We board the train home, there is some press. Since I was last year's victor I haven't shaken them all off but I make a bee line for the doors without so much as a "hello" to them.

As we leave the station Tracker comes over and examines my jaw, with the ice this morning and a balm the nurse gave me last night the trace of my encounter is all but gone.

"Good Seneca would have my head if he knew you were hurt" he says

"We aren't gonna tell him…any of it okay?" I look at Tracker

He doesn't look all that happy, "you're a minor Ari, he should know about this"

"No" I reply, "he doesn't, he won't ever find out from you or I"

He nods sadly, "okay I won't tell him, if that's what you want I won't"

We get home a couple days later. Seneca is waiting for us with my notebook in hand. I won't even tell Peeta what happened, if Seneca freaked its only half of what Peeta would throw. I don't want anyone to worry. My brother welcomes us both home and gives me a warm hug.

"Did you have fun?" he asks as we walk home, "or are you glad your stay in the capital is over."

I take no time in answering, "it's good to be home"

We don't bother watching the rest of the games it's only a background noise to our lives.

I go back to my studying.

Seneca and Tracer hang out more and more often.

Two weeks go by with no word from Hellen. It doesn't take long for Tracker and I to go out for a ride on our bicycles to the desert area to chat. I had sent the notebook to Peeta not long after I returned with enough stuff to write about -except the attack- I filled at least ten pages, we will have to get a new notebook soon, so on route back I should see if I get it back.

"She's gone isn't she" I say finally when Tracker can't muster the words, we lean against the cliff, we don't climb because he never mastered that talent.

"Looks to be" he says

"It's my fault" I groan and slouch to the ground he is quick to sit beside me

He shakes his head, "it's not your fault Ariana, they did this to Finnick too y'know, only they had to groom him and he was sixteen, boys are trickier, girls are usually sold by night to the wealthy for companionship, but they were supposed to wait until you were legal age"

"It's my fault because of how I treated the tour" I say, "this is punishment, I didn't follow their rules so they punish me"

Tracker looks upset, "I just told you it's not your fault kiddo, don't blame yourself for this, and if they punished you for the tour then they'd be making a martyr, that would upset everyone. So I doubt they are punishing you for that."

His words don't seem to comfort me.

Even though he is trying his hardest he isn't Hellen.

I do appreciate his council though.


	30. The Plan Emerges

**Disclaimer: **If I owned them I wouldn't be doing this now would I?

**Author's Note:** Thanks go to my reviewers as always **JB,KL10x, Wild, Arrow **and new ones **hockeylover98 and **** Mia288** (mia she will eventually have some romance...just not right now okay?)

Chapter 30

The Plan Emerges

I go by the train station and pick up my notebook and there are other envelops but they don't seem to make an impression. Not until I get home that is.

I get inside with the mail, I have some explaining to do to Peeta. How I won't be seeing him this year on tour since it's not my district who won, that I hope he makes a special cake for Mason. It doesn't occur to me to look at the rest of the mail when I realize there IS other mail.

For Seneca.

It has the capital emblem on it. It also occurs to me that he has been getting the mail lately.

He comes down as I am looking at his envelope with complete confusion on my face, why would he be getting mail from the Capitol. I don't look up, but I know he is standing stunned for a moment.

"Was this a surprise you were gonna spring on me when I got back?' I ask I can't help injecting a bit of distaste in my voice, he knows how I feel about the Capitol.

"It's nothing, just I got invited to work there" he says taking the envelop hastily

"Doing what?" I look at him

"Creative engineer" he replies, "it's a great opportunity, I can't believe they are offering it to me, just some kid from district five"

I know why, oh I know exactly why

"Don't take it" I say

Seneca looks at me like I said something funny, "why not, you want to be the only one that can travel?"

"No just…please Seneca I never ask anything, just don't go there?" I look at him pleading

"Ari I'm old enough to make my own decisions" he replies, "plus Tracker can take care of you and Hellen will be back so you're ok for people taking care of you"

"So you are going" I am getting angry and upset, first Darwin is taken away from us with a better job, then Hellen disappears after trying to protect me and now my own brother!

"What if this creative engineer job is for the Hunger games? Can you live with yourself doing a job that kills kids? You know how mom and dad felt about the Capitol"

"When did you begin being the voice of reason for me Ariana" he says his temper mounting, "last time I checked I was the older one"

"Older doesn't mean mature Seneca" I retort, "you wouldn't mind working for the hunger games? Games that killed Farrow?"

"I don't even know if it's FOR the games Ariana" he says

"Everything is for the damned games!" I spit back, "don't you get it?!"

"I guess I don't, I'm not a brainiac, I'm just your brother" he says, he is playing the family card

"Then as my brother don't do it for me" I plead, "Seneca please I don't want you to go"

"Then come with me, we'll live in the Capitol" he replies, he doesn't know what happened this year no one told him, and I got Tracker to swear he wouldn't know.

"This is my home Seneca" I reply, "not the Capitol"

"Well it hasn't been home for me, not since Mom and Dad died" he replies, "Ari" he reaches out but I pull away and his hand drops, "I have to make my own way"

I glare at him, "fine, but I'm not coming along, you enjoy your capital life" I storm upstairs and slam my bedroom door….

They are taking everyone I care about, I know it, and I know why…

And I know how I can mess with their plans, as I wipe a tear away from my eyes and become cold and clinical.

It's not gonna be easy, and it's not gonna be pretty. With Hellen gone one part of my plan is already in motion.

I'm gonna be a mentor.

My tribute will win.

And then I am going to die.


	31. The Siblings

**Disclaimer: **The more I say it the more its true sadly….I do not own the rights to The Hunger Games

**Author's note: **Eek! My first alternate POV-ness oh horror! I realized this is a big thing for the Crane kids so I decided to let Seneca have a say in this chapter…and Thanks go to my reviewers, **HL98, JB, Quinn, Mia288, KL10X, Arrow **and** TGH4** (and audreygiraffe who is reading the 69th) also yes I know its day early tomorow would be too tight!

Chapter 31

The Siblings

**Seneca POV**

I watch my little sister storm up the stairs, I meant every word that I said.

This hasn't been home to me, not since we lost our parents. I guess it's different when you grow up in a community home, she was ten when mom and dad died, she latched onto Farrow and I and was able to deal. I didn't have that luxury.

Ever since her games she has becomes distant to me, I used to read her like a book. When she needed a hug, when she needed her space or an ear to listen to her.

But the games changed her; she hung out with her mentors more than me when she got back. And she had so many nightmares until she started studying till exhaustion took over. No matter how much I wish I don't think I'll ever get back my little sister. The one who hung onto me for support. The games made her grow up too fast, her childhood is lost to her and it angers me. The worst thing is there is nothing I can do to help her.

I'm her brother! I'm supposed to know what to do but I feel inept.

I can't talk to her anymore, she won't listen to me.

I can't hug her and tell her it will all be okay, because I don't know myself.

All I know is I think Ariana doesn't need me anymore and to stay around will be a waste on both of us.

She has no need for money, and she has friends.

What does she need me for? Family support? Hellen and Tracker are more her family than I am.

I take a couple days to tie up loose ends; my sister keeps an uncomfortably large distance from me. I don't blame her; she is loyal to a fault sometimes. This must feel like I am betraying her.

The guilt hits me every time I think of it this way, then I remind myself she doesn't need me anymore. She's outgrown me at fifteen.

I don't think I'll outgrow her.

I do talk to Tracker about it, explaining why I am going, how I can't pass up this opportunity. He nods and says he understand, but I have a feeling it's lip service.

Tracer doesn't take it well though. She takes off and I follow on my bicycle. When we are way out of earshot she lays into me, calls me a traitor. Says she can't be friends with someone who will live in a place that rejoices at kids being slaughtered.

If Ariana is a knife in my heart Tracer is the hand that twists it.

I try to explain it might not be for the games but she says the same thing as Ariana.

"It's always about the games!" she growls, it's these times she reminds me of Tracker, they growl out their anger not screech, "Sen you can't be that blind can you?"

"I see things very clearly Trace" I reply, "Ariana doesn't need me hanging around"

"She will always need you Sen, you're her brother!"

I rub the back of my neck out of frustration, "look I know you hate the idea Trace, but…look I have to take this opportunity, maybe it won't work out, maybe it will but I have to give it a try right?"

She sighs, she knows I am torn, "I think we are just afraid of loosing you"

"Loosing me? How?" I ask

"People that move to the capital change Seneca, sometimes not for the better" she says, "I know that's why I am pissed at you, I think Ariana is thinking you betrayed her and Farr and your parents"

"How can I fix this?" I slump to the ground and Trace sits beside me, "I want to fix this before I go Trace but she won't see me"

**Ariana POV**

I don't talk to Seneca for several days. And every time I start to get inclinings to do so I see one of those envelopes somewhere and I get angry all over again. But to explain why I really don't want him to go would mean explaining what happened on my fifteenth birthday.

And that won't happen.

Tracker and Tracer seem to be on my side about this though. All three of us don't like the Capitol; all three of us know it's a dangerous place.

So why in hell is Seneca going into the lions den with a steak necklace?!

"He wants to bury the hatchet" Tracer explains, "he thinks you don't need him"

"He's my brother I will always need him!" I snap back, that was kinda dumb of him to think, we were together since I was knee high to a field mouse (at least that's how dad told me once), mom and dad said they couldn't get him away from my crib since I was able to be brought home.

He was the one that would rush to my side when I was having nightmares, or if I was teased, or lonely.

"Why would I ever not need my big brother?" I say

I feel a new set of eyes in the room and look up to see Seneca standing in the doorway

"That's one way of getting those two in a room together" Tracker says to his sister, "good job sis"

"I try" she smirks, the pair get up and leave. Seneca and I are left in the kitchen

"That true?" he finally says after the silence becomes less than comfortable

"Yes" I say, "I don't know why you ever though I wouldn't need you Sen"

He sighs and takes a seat across from me, "I don't want this to break us apart Ari" he reaches out for my hand and I take his out of reflex, "I will always need my little sister"

"I will always need YOU" I say squeezing his hand, "I don't want you to go Seneca"

He comes around and wraps me in his arms, I know I can't convince him, we have dad's stubborn streak, but I can't stop myself from dampening his shirt with tears. I know he will think it's just because I don't want my big brother to go away.

I know it's because I don't want him to be killed because of what I did, and him going to the capital will keep him in snow's crosshairs.

I know what I will be doing will destroy my brother, but it will keep him safe.

This is my goodbye to him. When he leaves on that train I won't ever see him again.

"There is always the phone" he says as recompense, "and I'll visit I promise"

"Just promise me you won't let them change you" I say, "and always be careful"

"For you Ari I will promise everything" he hugs me tight.


	32. The Spark of a Victor

**Disclaim: **Oh disclaiming disclaim disclaim! I do not own The Hunger Games! Disclaim disclaim disclaim!

**Author's Note:** Hello all! Well we are getting close to the end, counting this chapter only six are left! My goodness how it flies doesn't it? So it starts to pick up and glance here and there, I know you guys want to have the same kinda thing from the 69th with interviews and stuff but that's not gonna happen since this is from Ariana's POV only, so she will explain things but there won't be in depth descriptions.

Anyway if that were true and I DID do it like the 69th this story would never end! So yeah apologies.

Thanks go to my reviewers as always! **THG4, KL10X, JB, Amber, Quinn, Arrow, HL98, Wild **and** Mia.**

Finally this is also marking the beginning of my four shot fic that branches off this, it's called Painted Faces if you wanna know what's going on with Seneca check it out, the first two chapters will follow behind each other quickly then they will coincide with Roads and last chapter will only be posted with a later chapter of Sparrow's Song.

With all that said….ONWARD!

Chapter 32

The Spark of a Victor

He gets on the train a couple days later. We see him off, and in my heart I feel a hole start to form that won't ever close. Next to Farrow's fissure and the crack made by Maverick is a hole Seneca has made.

I'm starting to come apart inside. I will be nothing but a shadow of who I was. I will be like Wiress lost in oblivion if I stay here and see loved ones be destroyed because I was smarter than the capital was.

I have to escape.

To do that I have to prepare.

I keep in touch with Peeta all thru this, I tell him of Seneca leaving for a job in the Capitol, I know that just will open a lot of questions but he's almost like family to me now. I also add how I am doing, how my studies are going. What I'm up to since I'm not on tour.

But I have other things to worry about now. I am a mentor, and a mentor on a much tighter games schedule. If I want a district five tribute to win they will need serious tutoring in a very short period of time.

I buy a fresh thick notebook in bright red. I dub it 'the tribute's bible' because this will be what my tributes will read to have the best chance at surviving anything the game maker can throw at them.

I spend the cold season and early spring in the public library filling this book with everything I can imagine being of use. And then I add everything I know from my games, and everything my father taught me about survival tactics. The book is filled from page one to the last with notes and drawings and instructions. This is what they will read at night.

This is how we will win.

The days get warmer and soon the reaping is upon us. The seventy first, two years from when I won and I have taken Hellen's place as mentor.

But I am only going to be here once I remind myself; I have to make this count.

My mind is a whirl of activity, I barely acknowledge when Perusse goes to pick out the name of the female tribute. It's the thing that snaps me back to reality.

Because now I know I have to win this year.

Tracer is going into the games.

I see her face, I imagine I was the same, we are both proud and strong and we have a streak so stubborn that we don't cry. She comes up the steps and stands with no expression. Her partner is another seventeen year old named Oliver Moray. I know of him, I know he's not an only child, I know he is an 'outlet' kid so he is really poor, so he had to take tesserea. But that's all I know of him, he has Logan's 'bully' look to him, but I look at Tracker I am immediately thinking 't'hell with Oliver' as calloused as that is I see Tracker's face and know we have to get Tracer out of this. He's gone sheet white, his hands are clenched and I see tears in his eyes he refuses to shed for fear of appearing weak.

I gently brush his hand as Tracer and Oliver go inside. He looks at me and I give him a nod, it's the only thing I can give him right now to assure him I will get Tracer out alive.

If I said anything the Morays would hear we aren't going to focus on Oliver.

I watch his parents go in and come out, Tracker goes to talk to Tracer then I go and collect her.

She is looking out the window, as the families of the safe go home.

"I guess this is it" she says

"Not by a long shot" I reply she spins around to look at me

"I know Oliver, he won't go down without a fight" she says, "maybe I will go down bravely, it's the best I can hope for"

I look at her, "Tracer that's the least you can hope for…but we aren't gonna settle for adequate…I'm getting you home"

She smirks, and there is something in her eyes…it's too soon to tell…but…it could be what Darwin told me two years ago.

The spark of a victor


	33. At Least He's Safe

**Disclaimer: **I don't own The Hunger Games

**Author's Note:** Thanks go to my reviewers KL10X, Arrow, Amber, HL98 and JB

Chapter 33

At Least He's Safe

Tracer has never been to the Capitol, or on a train. For such a solemn occasion I can't help but smirk impishly as she spins in the open area of the dining car. Oliver stalks past her to his room, I guess his goodbyes didn't go well.

"Let's get you settled" I say as Perusse means to take Tracer but I intervene, she's my friend I want to make sure she is okay with everything.

We get her to her room. She showers I pick out an outfit for her and we head back.

"I wish you would let me take care of the tributes Ariana" Perusse says

"I'm mentor this year Perry" I say using Hellen's shorthand for Perusse's name, "If I want to take a closer relationship with my tribute then I think I am entitled"

I ignore her chirping 'insolence' to look at Tracker. He just looks a bit lost.

"Track will you stop moping" Tracer sighs, "you won, Ari won, how hard can it be?"

"Its HARD Trace!" Tracker snaps he stands but I growl

"Sit. Down."

I sigh, I'm fifteen, I'm ordering people older than me around like I own the place.

"It's a bit of luck and skill that makes someone win" I say, "plus the right item at the right time, the goal isn't to be the strongest or the fastest although that helps. It's your brain that is your most powerful weapon in these things, think of it as a giant riddle: how does one live thru an arena bent on killing them?"

They shrug, I smirk and take out the red notebook, "by being one step ahead of it"

"What is that?" Perusse is immediately interested but I hand it to Tracer as Oliver comes in

"This is for tribute eyes only, you guys have every waking moment from now to when you are going to the launch to study and train" I explain, "I took the whole cold season and spring filling this with as much information as I can" I place my hand on it, "I dubbed it 'the tribute's bible', I want you to read it cover to cover ask questions, learn from it and the lessons they teach in training, stare down your competition and don't EVER back down"

Tracker looks at me, the ferocity in my voice the drive behind me has sparked something in him.

I then realize why he hates Haymitch.

Because he sees his hurt mirrored in the other's behavior.

"We are your mentors but we can only show you so much, we need you two to ask the right things" I add

Tracer is already leafing thru the book. As we all settle down Oliver is first to speak.

"What's a good strategy?" he asks

"On what?" Tracker asks

"Everything! I never went camping or climbing or eaten game, a novice at everything" he looks a bit worried, unlike Logan he wants to learn

Tracker looks unsure, I guess he's never had someone ask about strategy before, I know I never asked. I step up, maybe because I figure things out faster, maybe because I'm more of a pragmatist than tracker is sometimes.

"The priority at this moment isn't going over strategies for the games" I reply, "we will get to that after the parade, you and Tracer will be taken to the prep building to be made up for the parade, it will be irritating and sometimes painfully so but don't argue, you can talk to your team ask them stuff, complement them on how they are treating you, brown nose even make them like you, they have feelers throughout the capital, if they like you they will talk about you to their friends and their friends will talk to their friends and soon you will have a rumor mill, good rumors of genial tributes of five. How nice you are, how it's a shame such good kids have to be in such a thing"

"Will that work?" Tracer looks up

"Hey I acted little miss innocent in the parade, the better the actor the better the rewards" I reply

"Don't be ashamed of how you look" Tracker says, "you are gonna be naked for your prep, I mean not one stitch on Oliver, if you act bashful they will think you're squeamish, if you show off it might be you are over confident"

"So act like a nudist?" Oliver says I chuckle, as much as I want to not like our male tribute he has a sense of humor, which goes a long way.

"Just don't strut" I reply.

Oliver looks over at Tracer, "do you think I could strut Trace?"

"I think you'll trip over yourself first" she says jokingly.

He acts wounded placing a hand over his chest, "oh slings and arrows M'Lady Ice queen"

"Ice queen?" I look at Tracer

"She keeps to herself at school" Oliver says, "nose in a book or off on a climbing wall"

"Trace that's not a good thing here" Tracker warns

"Oh don't worry I'll play the game just as you want" she replies

We eat and watch the reapings.

I don't sleep, I stay up and Oliver is up late.

"You don't sleep do you" he says, "I can see victor's circle from my house, the lights of your house are always on"

"You should be sleeping" I warn

"Mind is goin' a mile a minute" he replies, then pauses, "I'll protect her y'know"

"Protect yourself" I say, I know what he wants to do, he wants to be a brave hero die for the girl, "if you get yourself killed for her the guilt will damage more than any blade"

He pauses, "sorry I forgot" he sighs, it brings me back to Maverick, him protecting me. Two years and I can't seem to shake the guilt.

"Not your fault" I say, "it's the games, it's the dark days, it's every war we ever fought, it comes down to greed and power and we are just pieces in a very big chess game that doesn't end Oli" I sigh, "I have a lot of resentment sorry"

"I rather you did, then you will try and make sure at least one of us gets out of it to show the capital they can't touch you" he says

"Thanks" I reply

"Don't mention it, just don't give up on either of us just yet" he gives a small smile and heads back to bed.

I switch on the tv to view the reapings repeated. There is Peeta now thirteen standing with the other thirteens in twelve. But he isn't reaped; he's safe for another year. I breathe a sigh of relief. I won't have to make that choice, between two friends and who to save before I go.

Because as much as I love Peeta, and how much it would destroy me, if he won I would loose the rest of my family.

Tracer has to win.

And it's with this last thought my eyes finally drift shut.


	34. Make it Count

**Disclaimer:** This is my work, but my inspiration came from reading The Hunger Games which isn't my work…therefore I do not own The Hunger Games

**Author's Note:** Thanks to my reviewers **KL10X, HL98, Amber** and **JB**

Chapter 34

Make it Count

I always seem to fall asleep in the damned suede chairs! Tracker and Tracer are shaking me awake as Oliver is having something to eat.

"Do you ever use the bed they give you?!" Perusse asks haughtily

I rub my eyes and seriously want to flip her the middle finger, but now is not the time to pick fights.

"Let her be Perry" Tracker sighs, "if she likes to sleep in chairs at least she sleeps"

Perusse humphs and sits with Oliver who is tasting hot chocolate for the first time.

"Man I wonder how you stay thin Madame Perusse" he says, "this stuff is so rich I'm surprised you're not fatter"

Perusse takes this as a complement to her figure. I know why the food is rich, why they overload the tributes with food until they are full and gained a few inches.

It's so they don't starve to death within a few days in the arena. It's the only thing that makes sense. Otherwize they would all be stick figures by the time the gong went off.

"I read a few chapters of 'the bible'" Tracer says

"Trace you were supposed to wait for me!" Oliver says annoyed

"I have to go over it again anyway Oli" she sighs, "but there is so much I don't know what I should focus on"

"I'll guide you guys in it after training" I reply, "by the time you guys run off your platforms you will be ready I promise"

Crap, I just used a word I never wanted to use again.

Promise.

Because if I start I never know when to stop and last time it ended with maverick being incinerated and placed in an urn that is buried in the earth of district two. I get a headache just thinking about that and close my eyes from the sun.

"You okay Ari?" Tracker sounds concerned

"Just a headache" I reply, "I'll be fine"

The cabin goes dark and then light and it explains that we are now in the capital.

Oliver and Tracer head for the window as we roll in. They wave at the citizenry, and they wave back until we pull into the station and stop.

Tracker and I head for Victor's Hall. I have to remind myself no one knows my plan so I shouldn't show my hand just yet.

Enobaria is no where to be found, and I breath a sigh of relief. I can't waste energy on her right now. I can't on any of the victors.

I see Raul hasn't left and I go over. He doesn't say a word but places a virgin daiquiri in front of me. I'm grateful I don't have to speak with him.

"Ariana!" I hear and Seeder comes over with Chaff.

"Ms Seeder" I smile, "Mr. chaff its good to see you!"

"Always the polite one isn't she Seed" Chaff says

"You can just call us without the niceties y'know" Seeder smiles

"It's hard to when I have respect for someone, or if I barely know them" I reply

Chaff just messes up my hair.

"Where is the live wire?" I hear Finnick

"She's too small she could be anywhere!" says another voice I don't recognize until Finnick O'Dair and Johanna Mason sidle up.

"Another year another games" Finnick sighs, "will they ever learn we get their point?"

Seeder sighs and covers her face and Chaff elbows Finnick in the ribcage.

"I don't think we met" Johanna says offering her hand, "but I feel I know you already twerp" she smiles and it's not the frightening thing as Enobaria has but there is a feral aire to it

"I'm hardly the twerp now aren't I" I shake her hand, "well done on your games last year by the by"

"So you approve? Even with me killing that mess of tributes?" she looks a bit shocked

"Well you killed the ones that killed mine so yeah I approve" I reply.

Finnick smiles, "wow a gold star from the angel of mercy!" he jokes and notices my drink, "virgin I hope"

"Yes Finnick I'm not turning into Haymitch" I play along

Johanna's likeness is placed beside mine and we all head for the stable not long after.

Tracer and Oliver are in glow in the dark clothing again, only this time it's not the fluffy skirt I was in. Tracer is in a sleek number that shows her curves and Oliver is in pale pants and bright yellow shirt. They will definitely glow in the dark now, they also have a headdress each other small metallic atoms encircling their head, and they both have sparklers to wave around.

It almost feels like Darwin. I stamp down that thought, every time I think of him it leads to unpleasant thoughts of Hellen and then Seneca.

All leading to Snow.

"Any final thoughts?" Oliver asks and Tracker nudges me because I've gone off into my own mind. I blink a few times then smile.

"Enjoy your moment, THIS is where you pull the most eyes make it count" I reply

They nod and no sooner have I given that advice than they are gone out the door.

It takes a few minutes but soon we hear a gasp then thunderous cheers and when I run to the doorway I see Oliver and Trace lip locked!

"They seemed to take your advice literally" Tracker says he sounds uptight, like any good brother should be.

"Damn" I hear Brutus behind me, "what did you tell them?"

"To stand out" I reply

We get to the level five apartments and eat. I look at my tributes. I can't be more proud of them or more confused.

"Who wanted to kiss?" I ask

Tracer has a faint blush because Oliver speaks up.

"I did, I kinda took her by surprise" He says, "sorry Trace"

She shakes her head, "no it's okay….it's just well…."

"Well what?" Oliver asks and it dawns on me

"It was her first kiss" I say softly almost imperceptible except since the room is so still everyone reacts.

Tracer gets up and leaves, followed by her stylist and Perusse.

Tracker looks shocked and angry and Oliver and his stylist head for his room.

I head for Tracer.

She is sitting on the end of her bed, face red as a ripe cactus pear.

"There is nothing to be ashamed about Tracer" Perusse says

Armand our new stylist agrees, "there is a first for everything"

"At least you've had yours now" I say from the door way leaning on the frame, "can we have a moment Armand? Perry?"

They bob heads and head out.

"Pathetic aren't I?" Tracer says sniffing and wiping her eyes

"Pathetic? No. Shy to let other see your real feelings? Yes" I reply and sit beside her, "there is nothing to be ashamed about"

"Except there is Ari" she says, "now I don't want him to die"

I knew this would happen, I didn't want it to but I knew it.

I try and think of how to rationalize love, but since I have no ground to work with I have to wing this.

"I wish I could save you both Trace" I say softly, "I guess this is the hard part of being a mentor, you have to choose the ones you're saving, pick favorites and guarantee a win"

"Why can't there be two" she says

"I don't know it was never tried before" I reply, then sigh, "I don't want you trying to save the other, okay? Once you hear the gong go off the _only_ thing I want you to think about is how to get _yourself _out of this alive"

She nods, "I guess he hates me"

"I think he is more shocked than angry, unless you mean Track" I tease

She laughs, finally I have broken her mood, "god do I ever care about worrywart?"

I chuckle

We decide to do individual trainings, I take care of Tracer and Tracker takes Oliver after the four days of group training are over.

She and I are up crazy early running laps together, climbing the wall, she lifts light weights and her and I do push ups and sit ups until our arms are jelly and our backs ache, then we practice with weapons.

All in the span of a few mere hours.

Then she is off to prep with Perusse for posture and then her and I study the book together, and talk of interviews. We decide if the kiss comes up to play it straight, to say it was her first kiss, to say how she felt this rush and that she felt she could glow without the special fabric.


	35. A Good Mentor

**Disclaimer: **If I could I would adopt Peeta and call him my own, but alas I cannot because *drum roll* I Don't Own the Hunger Games!

**Author's Note:** thanks go to my Reviewers as always **THG4, Arrow, KL10X, JB, Amber **and** Mia288 (happy belated Birthday Mia!)**

Four chapters left people….Nervous? Sad? Happy? Lemme know!

Chapter 35

A Good Mentor

The week goes by so fast I can't understand it. One moment I am watching her get kissed on the chariot. The next she and I are heading for the hover plane.

"Any last words of advice?" Tracer asks, I can hear she is nervous so we stop when he exit the elevator.

She looks at me, I am barely scraping five foot she's a foot taller and yet I feel we are looking at each other in the eye, standing shoulder to shoulder.

I place a hand on her shoulder and she grasps it.

"Be true to yourself and what you believe is right" I say, "don't step off that platform until the gong goes off, don't rely on anyone to help you not for food and not for protection, not even Oliver. This is an individual sport Trace keep that in mind and you will do fine" then as an after thought, "for the life of me don't eat anything unless you are one hundred and ten percent sure it's safe"

She nods, it's short and nervous and almost spastic.

"Right" she says

I give her a hug, "good luck but you won't need it, I'll see you when you get back"

When we part she has a tear going down her face and wipes it away briskly as she boards.

Her life is in my hands now…I cannot let her down.

I head for victor's hall and begin talking to capital people, those who can afford to sponsor.

I think since I am so young and a mentor it's easier to get them chatting. By the time the rest of the mentors have reached the hall I have a half dozen sponsors each willing to help out when and if the time came. I even make wagers…if she gets to this point their money will increase by this much…and so on and so forth.

I could make a career at smooth talking I guess but that's not my goal.

For the most part I do not converse with my fellow victors. Not even Finnick, I'm on the job. Even at night I am staying in victor's hall to keep my eye on Tracer. They have them in a jungle setting. Both of my tributes have made hammocks to hang from the trees so they don't get eaten alive by bugs. Tracer has found trees that have safe fruit to eat.

Oliver has found a niche catching fish from a river that runs the length of the arena.

On the first day ten fell, I said quick goodbye to Beetee and Wiress, Seeder and Chaff and Haymitch. The other four were dispersed between six, seven, nine and ten.

The rest of the time I am watching the view screen and waiting for the time I need to send something. But Tracer is a lot like me, she was able to get a knife before running from the cornucopia. Oliver had made a spear from bamboo without the use of a blade. They are wholly self sufficient. I feel proud to have them both even though I know only one can live.

My sponsors come up to me daily and ask if she needs something. She was dubbed 'the princess' by Flickerman because of how cordial she was and how bashful she was at the talk of the kiss, almost regal and quaint. Its kinda fitting her last name is Kingsly.

Finally I realize she is going in circles half the time, I don't know if she doing it on purpose but I know she had passed that same tree twice in a matter of hours. I know she isn't dehydrated because I know the signs of that.

So I finally have something to send my tribute…a compass.

To send something you have to go into a directory. Sponsors come with you and you flip thru until you find what you are looking for.

Weapons are the most expensive, but smaller items can also hit the deep pockets rather hard.

Matches, ointments, iodine for water purification, can rack up the same as a knife depending on how far the games can last.

Surprisingly a compass is not all that costly. I would have though finding ones way in an unknown region to be pretty darn important.

Isis Merryweather an old lady with so much jewelry on its amazing she can stay upright suggests we not just send her the compass but a survival kit. It has a penknife; some waterproof matches a really well made compass and other items. It soo expensive and I don't want to run out of money. When I say this to Eros, another one of my sponsors he laughs.

"Don't worry Ms Crane, there is plenty of money, you haven't used one of us yet" he smiles benignly.

Sometimes I wonder if all they want to do is make the games last longer, this turns my stomach but I hide it with a smile of my own.

We place the order time and place for the drop, I add a small letter asking if she's a bit lost. The rest is up to game makers to do.

Not ten minutes after the order was sent does a chute fall in front of Tracer.

She looks at it dubiously until she notices my handwriting and launches at the box.

Her smile lifts my spirits as she mouths 'thank you'

I did that well.


	36. Loss

**Disclaimer: **Once again I don't own The Hunger Games!

**Author's Note:** My goodness! So many people to thank and also calm! I had the memory of the death of Farrow that came to haunt me while reading the reviews from last chapter. I guess I have to explain…depending on the _details_ given into a characters bio will show you how much I love the character and less likely you will see them die (why put in all that work and then kill them honestly!)…it seems like a _huge_ clue (and spoiler! Naughty readers!) to the coming sequel and if you are canny readers and think way back something might click. I will NOT give anymore clues, you can guess all you want, there are only three chapters after this so you have..a week…maybe a bit more to think hard. Some of you have other clues, mostly my older (not by age but by time spent reading and reviewing my work) if they look at our PM conversations will have clues aswell…

For those who are members you can send me guesses and ask questions.

**Arrow, Mia:** I wish I could tell you guys more but I think I gave enough clues.

So! Before we continue I wanna thank y'all! **Amber, KL10X, JB, Quinn** (yes Quinn I CAN hear you, you really don't have to yell…maybe switch to decaf dear), **Wild** (long time no see!), **HL98** (this chapter should answer the question) , and **Arrow** (same for you :P )

With that! Onward!

Chapter 36

Loss

It gets lower and lower. The week seems to drag. Oliver is taken care of by Tracker and even he has to admit, my 'bible' stunt we used has paid off…either one could win it.

At the final eight it's the careers, our two and the two from four.

Finnick comes over as I am taking a small break to write to Peeta. I have been keeping touch with him even now. The paper pouch has turned to a leather waterproof variety, with a clear plastic sleeve to show the address of the recipient. This will be one of the last entries to him before I leave. My pen stills as I realize this. And I can feel my heart ache, I can't just say goodbye in a book and expect him to understand. We've shared so much these few years. I re-read what he said about Seneca's job offer. He had said he's happy he has found a job he likes. I had said how Darwin got a better job again Peeta is positive nothing is wrong.

I know he isn't naïve. Maybe he is just trying to put my mind at ease.

"Writing to your friend again?" he asks

"Yup" I don't look up but my hand reaches for a cup of tea beside me

"Looks like your pair is doing mighty fine" he tries to make conversation

"So are yours, where is Mags by the by?" I ask

"Taking a nap, she knows if I need her I will get her" he says, "maybe you'll celebrate your birthday again during the games, its starting to look that way"

I finally look up, "maybe but I won't get drunk this year" I say and look at him pointedly, the image of Horace still makes my skin crawl, and I will be turning sixteen.

"Why not? You're safe since you are in Tribute Tower" he says and we hear a canon go off…

At this late stage of the game the remaining victors race to the display map.

A career from one just died.

A career fell before my two! I smile a small smile of triumph. Tracker pats my shoulder, he's happy too, this is a big step. Careers are the hardest to get rid of.

Then two more canons, one from four and one from two.

I would be happy but my stomach gives a lurch. If this keeps up Oliver and Tracer will have to face off.

I remember what Tracer said before she left, how she didn't want Oliver to die. And how Oliver wanted to protect Tracer.

"Not good" I mutter and head back to my corner.

For the first time in the games I end up in the apartment with Tracker. We eat quietly but my stomach is a bunch of knots not even Finnick could untie.

"I did my job too well" I look at Tracker, "this is bad Track, what if they have to face off?"

He shakes his head, "that won't happen Ari, something will split them" he doesn't look convinced himself.

We get back to the hall extremely early. District one is out, but four and two are still in it with ours. Maybe something will happen. Then another cannon.

"That's my lot" Finnick says, "you two take care I'll see you both next year" he gives me a hug shakes Tracker's hand and head off.

Brutus and Enobaria are staring at us. I can feel this slow hatred for me building in her gaze.

The day drags on. The three are moving closer to each other but its so slow none of us feel apprehensive. I stay at the screens to watch but even I can feel myself tire as the day draws on.

It's late and we mean to go to our rooms to sleep but I want to stay up. I have to.

And now I know why my instincts were telling me to do just that.

I hear the most horrible sound I can imagine.

Tracer wailing.


	37. Solace and Plans

**Disclaimer: (I swear in Sparrow's Song I will do this once in the summary) **I don't own the rights to the Hunger Games! Deal with it!

**Author's Note**: almost there people! Worried? Just so you know this was supposed to be two separate chapters, but since the second part was kinda pidly I tagged it on with a line break. The original title was "Revenge"

So guys? No guesses, nothing from my author note in chapter 36 hit you as …odd? No? *shrug* okay then!

Thanks to my reviewers! **THG4, KL10X, Arrow, Quinn, Amber, JB **and** Wild**

**Chapter 37**

**Solace and Plans**

I run to instant replay. It shows the last five minutes of the games so if we are distracted we can catch up, what I see breaks my heart.

The boy from two has killed Oliver. He took a spear to the heart protecting Tracer. The boy runs before Tracer can't get her bearings, she is holding Oliver until he dies. And it floods back to me. Maverick, the fall, waiting for him to die. I can feel this hatred burn me, my eyes harden. My mind whips to my account.

I can make him pay.

It takes to my last dime but I send Tracer the best weapon in the game. With a note;

_**Revenge.**_

She takes the samurai sword from its sheath after wiping her eyes. She gives Oliver one last kiss on his icy lips and is now on the hunt for the boy from two.

Enobaria and I face off Tracker and Brutus are trying in vain to hold us back.

"How can you send her that? She's gonna murder Jason!" Enobaria shrieks

"Like Jason wasn't any better! He killed enough people time for some payback!" I snarl

"Girls will you get a grip!" Brutus shoves Enobaria away from me, "this is how it works anyway! We were sending Jason stuff throughout where Ariana was waiting for the right time, that's why she has the funds we don't" he looks at me, he understands. Heck he remembers what I went thru better than his counterpart. Tracker realizes why I did this now.

"Maverick" he says softly

The mere name makes my fists tighten. It takes Enobaria the longest to realize this isn't just payback for the games. This was personal….and finally I see something I haven't seen from miss shark teeth.

Understanding.

"Ari I-" she tries to start but I've had enough

"Save it" I spit back and head for the screens

It's uncanny how Tracer and I have the same look as she is hunting Jason down. It's not anger, its pure focus. It's something that must be done. She has the tool. She just needs her target.

The face off is at the cornucopia. Jason gets a sword from the inside of the horn's wall and they are at each other soon enough. I can tell when this is over either one will be in the hospital for at least a week. The cuts go deep, the blood runs fast. In the end Jason makes an error in judgment and Tracer slices off the arm holding the sword, she then stabs him in the chest so deeply his face is in utter shock before the cannon goes off.

I don't even bother waiting for a 'congratulations' from Brutus and Enobaria.

I have to make sure Tracer recovers from this.

I pace outside her room. It's agonizing, I want to be there for her but that's not how it works. The tributes go thru a week rehab with no contact. They believe it helps in coping.

I wish they would wake up; there is no way to cope without support.

When finally she is released I don't know how long but we hug each other until we get her to the apartment and she sleeps. I hear her cry softly, she is still injured but it's nothing they can cure with needle and thread or some drug in her blood system.

Only time can mend this and even then it's never whole again.

Tracker looks worried, he can't sit still. He paces as much as I do. We even run into each other.

Snow's envoy is sent to talk to me, even if I am still fifteen my birthday is in two days. With my tribute winning I am to be on tour but after that I am to report to the capital for as he puts it 'conditioning'.

Tracker unceremoniously kicks him out after.

He needn't bother.

Stage one was complete when Hellen left: become a mentor

Stage two is complete with the help of Oliver and Tracer: create a victor.

Now it's onto stage three: disappear

**()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()(())()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()**

We get home after the interviews and the primping and preening.

Tracer is beyond exhausted, both physically and mentally. I wish I could tell her something to make her feel better but I was in her shoes two years ago. I can't say the thing she needs because it was never said to me; I don't know how to mend this. I only know the pain dulls after a while but the ones we care about never leave us.

And I'm about to make her pain worse by leaving.

The months leading up to the victor's tour have me locked in my house writing, sketching and planning.

By the time the Joshua tree is in bloom Tracer is almost back to her old self, maybe a bit wiser, maybe a bit more cynical about the Capitol. Her talent lays in music; she played the flute prior to the games and has picked it up with a platinum pipe. I hear her from my house late at night when she is saddened. She plays something soothing to ease herself back from the brink so she can rest.

It only spurs me on.

I never send my last entry to Peeta. The one about coming to twelve on the tour, we have to do this in person.

I have made a will. I read up on how to make it legal. I leave my winnings to Seneca and if he refuses; which I am pretty sure he will; they go to Tracker in trust. I barely ever touched my winnings, I never bought expensive stuff, art supplies didn't even make a dent, nor did food, even if they stop the winnings coming in someone could live off what is banked, I do take some out and pack it with everything else.

The ride to twelve is agonizingly long. As we near it my heart breaks a little more.

How can I tell Peeta? What do I tell him? What can I possibly say so that it doesn't hurt him as much as it hurts me?!

I sketch feverously in our notebook. I even have a picture of him and I although we have never been together in a photo before. I make a copy of it for myself on heavy paper so I can keep it with me when I go.

I can't forget my friend.

In the last few pages at the back of the notebook I tuck a lengthy explanation of what I will be saying to him later folded in an envelop, addressed to him like I did all letters to him. I don't say anything that could be called treasonous. I do tell him how lucky I was to have a friend like him around. How I will miss him horribly when I go, and for all that is holy for him to stay out of trouble. We need more guys like him around.

I write a letter to Tracker. I explain everything, I tell him not to explain the details to Tracer because it's safer the less people know. If I said this out loud to him we might be heard. So everything is written clearly and cleanly.


	38. Goodbye

**Disclaimer: **Who owns the rights to the Hunger games? Not me!

**Author's note (and warning!)** : Tissue worthy chapter (this goes for KL10X and anyone who felt a little weepy during District 2)

Also, for those who are fickle people, I know Samurai swords aren't meant to fight like Tracer did, BUT it's a fanfiction and I imagine they could make a samurai sword by then that wouldn't shatter…plus I just think they are way cooler than a saber…so bleh :P Bleh I tell you !XP

As always many many thanks to my reviewers! **Amber, Wild, Arrow, KL10X, THG4 **and **JB**

**Chapter 38**

**Goodbye**

We finally make it to twelve.

With Tracer getting ready and Tracker staying in the train for now I have to do some goodbyes. I remember district twelve almost as if it's my own home. I say hello to the mayor he says how much I have grown asks how I am and my brother. I reply we are fine, I have to lie because we are not fine not by a long shot.

I apologize we aren't doing a large party like last time but the capital had made rule changes and they won't budge anymore. He tells me it's alright, I ask after Celena and Archie's families and he says they are well.

I say goodbye to him and he gives me a gentle hug and says he will see me at the dinner. I head for Mellark's.

It hasn't changed, I go in the front door and there is a skinny lady with dark blond hair tied back in a severe bun. This must be Peeta's mother. I can feel my hands tighten in fists and I restrain myself. She doesn't look up, she's counting the register. But as soon as the bell rings Harry comes out, he notices me immediately and offers a warm smile.

"He's out back feeding the pig" is all he says and lets me dash past him to the back. I hear the woman screech at letting unknowns into the bakery part of the shop. Harry seems to be able to handle it so I ignore it.

Peeta has grown, maybe a few inches taller than me now from the look of him. Still the blond hair hasn't changed, still messy.

"Hey Peet" I say from behind him.

He jumps and spins on his heels.

He hasn't changed a tick apart from looking a bit older, he still has those blue eyes that share his father's spark, although dulled slightly.

"Ari!" he drops the slop bucket and comes over hugging me. Yep still the same Peeta. "God you look great! You look tired though you 'k?"

"Yeah like you said I'm tired" I say. "Peeta…"

"You wanna try making that flower again?" he interrupts with a playful smile…why not? One last time.

"Sure" I reply

He smiles and leads me inside. I hear the front door slam shut and Harry comes in the back.

"Your mother stepped out Peeta" he says, he doesn't say just 'mom' like my dad would have, maybe Harry doesn't like how his wife acts either sometimes.

"k pop Ari is gonna try her hand at making the rose" he says putting some red icing in the pastry bag just like last time, only now I get the apparatus we use to make these little confections. He shows me once just as quickly as he did two years ago. Then hands it to me.

I focus and manage to get one going but two sets of feet stampede down the steps and before I can finish Buck the middle son comes over and hugs me. Ryen the eldest just leans on the doorframe.

"Buuck!" Peeta groans the flower had fallen to the floor, nearly finished, from shock.

"Buck will you let Ariana go" Harry says peeling the boy from me

"Sorry pop" Buck says it must have been because in some of our letters I have been asking about him and Gale. I smile cordially.

"Peeta can we talk" I look at my friend and he sees its something I want to talk to him alone about.

"Sure! Out with the sow?" he asks

I nod

It takes a few minutes but finally Peeta sees I need to be nudged, "Ari what's wrong?"

"Peet" I look at him and sit on the overturned slop bucket, he takes a second bucket and takes my hands in his, he's warm despite the drizzly cold. I'm a popsicle.

"Whatever you say its okay" he says

I take a breath I have to do this, for him, and for his brothers and dad…his mom….not so much, "Peet I have to go away for a while, I don't think I can keep in touch"

His hands drop and he studies me, "are you in trouble?"

I don't answer.

"Will I see you again?"

"I don't know" I look at the ground, and a tear breaks my barrier.

He knows something is wrong. My little friend isn't little anymore and he takes me in his arms and hugs me. I've gotten taller but so has he and he stands a bit taller than me now, I was right. When we part he takes the chain from around his neck, the globe. He has kept it this whole time hidden from view.

"I think you need this more than I do" he says, "It protected me when I needed it, I'm not scared anymore"

I go into my satchel and take out our notebook, and a spare clean empty one with it I even had it embossed with his name, "I want you to keep this ok?" I tell him, "I left the address of Tracker so if you need anything-"

"I just want you to be safe" he says, "please Ari don't do anything stupid, I'm not naïve anymore I know what you did at your tour was dangerous"

I smirk, "we can't live life safe Peeta" I look at him, "to get anywhere you have to take chances, and sometimes you have to get a bit dirty to come out clean on the other side"

He looks like he is about to offer me sanctuary, or maybe hogtie me to keep me from leaving, "just please be careful"

"I will, I definitely will try" I sniff.

He hugs me again, I wish I could stay in his arms, he always gives off this sense of safety.

Something I desperately wish I had right now.

We get back inside and Harry sees I look like I've been crying; he looks at Peeta and when his face is almost a copy of mine he just offers a handkerchief to me telling me to keep it and he hugs me aswell. The same feeling comes off him as it did Peeta, safety.

When we separate I still have tears in my eyes. And Harry wipes them away.

"I have to get back" I say finally, Peeta's father nods and leads me to the front, a steadying arm in the small of my back.

"You keep in touch alright sweetheart" he says, he looks down at me with a warm smile, "you've grown on us kiddo" then he bends down a bit since he towered over me, "maybe even my wife who knows" he winks.

I give a weak smile and he gives one final nod.

As I leave I feel my heart want to completely smash to pieces. I know it has to be done. I know I have to keep my family safe, but it's not easy when I feel I am betraying them by not explaining why I have to do what I do.

Peeta races out of the bakery he can't let go…not yet.

He comes up to me a little breathless and gives me what we have considered our little joke.

The red rose on the sugar cookie, as well as one of the small confection platforms that he presses in my other hand.

I feel my bottom lip tremble like I am about to fall to pieces. He just hugs me one last time and kisses my cheek. The look we give each other says what words cannot.

Trust, loyalty, friendship, platonic love, respect, it's all there in that solid blue gaze we give each other. And there is no way we can express it without crying from the pain we are sharing.

"Don't stop drawing whatever you do" I say

"I promise Ariana, I won't. I'll have a huge notebook full of them for when you get back" he replies.

I give a sad wet laugh, "I will be itching to see it" I reply, then I say the one word I hate

"Goodbye Peet"

"Bye Ari" he replies and watches me go.


	39. Vanish

**Disclaimer: **Never will I ever own the rights to The Hunger games….

**Author's Note:** 1) The end of Roads Home the hardest part is saying goodbye, there are times I wanted to cry, sometimes I wanted to laugh. Our young victor is 16 now, making tough decisions and knowing that there are consequences to crossing the Capitol. If only the Capitol knew there were consequences to crossing people like Ariana….

**Chapter 39**

**Vanish**

I get back to the train; face tear streaked eyes puffy and wishing to not go to the feast.

I have to unfortunately because I'm a mentor. If only for a few more days.

I wash and thankfully they have balms, drops and makeup that make me look presentable. The puffiness is gone, my eyes are no longer red and as long as I keep it together no one will be the wiser for it.

XXX

I have to wait for the right moment to put the final part of my plan into action.

As luck has held the train breaks down between seven and six. We are in densely packed woods. The snow is not that deep due to the canopy and the conductor says it will be a few hours before we are back underway.

It's the moment I need.

"I'm just gonna head out for some air" I say

"I'll come with you" Tracer says eager to get outside herself

But I negate it, "I kinda want to be alone okay? I need time to think on my own"

She looks crestfallen but nods, "okay, but if you want company just holler"

I give a smirk, "you know I will", I head for my cabin for my winter coat obviously but that's not all.

I grab my bag, not the small satchel they saw me with, this has everything I will need or have need of after this has gone thru.

It has my art supplies true, but it also has a canteen if I have to get further out; some trail mix if I need to eat, and a small amount of money. It also has some things I will need emotionally, my locket, the photos of all of us, the drawing of Peeta and I, the small platform to make confection roses, a copy of the notebook Peeta and I shared, (it took twenty dollars in photocopies but I had to have a copy of it), my snakeskin jacket -the adult sized one that I now can wear although it still slightly big on me-, and Mr. Mellark's handkerchief

The machinists are too busy to see me go out. Apparently the breakdown is worse than they had initially thought; which means I have more time to get as far from the train as I possibly can.

I head due north, deep into the woods before I run. I have to make distance that walking won't cut it. I'm not used to wooded areas and I'm not as fast as I would be but I finally can't make out the way station or the train and I don't hear anyone come for me, I stop in an open clearing, heart in my throat.

I take out the transmitter; I break the seal and press the button.

I don't know if it worked until I hear the birds stop singing and one makes a warning shriek.

I don't move, the hover plain does not have a capital insignia on it. In fact it's blank.

A ladder falls at my feet and I grab it and am hoisted to the inside.

Plutarch is sitting across from where I stand. He looks solemn but relieved that I am with them.

A woman guides me to a strange looking chair and has me put my right arm in a contraption, underside facing up.

"Ariana this is going to hurt but whatever you do, do not let go of the transmitter until we are done" the woman says jabbing something into my arm.

"Who are you?" I ask as my arm is strapped down.

"Dr. Makenzie" she replies and presses a button on the machine.

A scalpel appears like one would see it comes from a pocket knife. It rides a rail that comes over my arm and slices down it from wrist to elbow revealing the tendon and muscle underneath. I thought it would hurt but then I realize she had jabbed my arm with something to dull pain. My adrenaline was running so fast I hadn't even been aware of the needle stick.

The incision has cut major vessels and I see the blood pool into a basin that runs under the machine. It's hypnotic. I have never seen my blood in such amount before, but as it leaves me I can feel myself get cold, tired and dizzy. I start to shiver from shock and that's when an attendant takes my other arm plunges a needle in and starts a transfusion as well as press a button to have a new container under my arm, I watch as blunt probes tease the muscles away from each other in my opened arm so the doctor can look for something.

"There it is" Dr. Makenzie says, she takes a pair of tweezers and pulls out a small blinking ball of light. I think my mind is delirious because its looks like Tinkerbelle in those plays we put on at school, where it's just some kid with a flashlight. Only smaller and more…solid.

The machine sews the incision shut layer by layer then wraps my arm in tight bandage as the doctor open the hatch to toss the blood I lost onto the snow below the craft. I can imagine the mess it has made.

She places the blinking light on a small solid platform next to a hammer, and then takes the transmitter away. The machine shuts down and my arm is realeased. I head over to the platform.

Plutarch and I look at this innocent piece of technology. The reason that tributes can be found in the arena.

I stand looking at it, feeling dizzy and tired. Focusing on this blinking light is taking all my energy.

"You know what this means" Plutarch says he sounds distant, "you know what happens when you destroy this tracking node"

"Yes" I reply

"I can't do this for you Ariana" he says, "I could physically but it's better if you do it"

I take up the hammer and look at this node. This thing that is the last vestiges of Ariana Crane, if destroyed I am considered dead.

My heart aches, my mind is foggy from loss of blood but one thing is clear when I raise the hammer and aim.

This has to be done.

"I'm sorry" I say softly, to everyone I loved, and was friends with and will no doubt hurt from me being 'dead', because if my heart is any example they would feel like I am right now, shattered.

The hammer makes the target and the light goes out.

**Final Author's Note:** 2) Well folks she's stirred up a hornet's nest! And now she is a rebel…with a cause? Without a cause? You will have to see!

**A final BIG Thank You to my wonderful reviewers, The Jumble Book, Katielouise10X, Cappoquinn's Calling, Kitkat1D, Arrow, Wild, Miss Mustang , Salanderjade, THGlover4life, Darkmanmod, Hockeylover98, Ambergiraffe and Mia288 **(and Guest). If it weren't for you guys I prolly would have stopped long ago!

To new reader: reviews still get seen! Don't be shy!

Stay Tuned!

**Up Next:** Sparrow's Song (should start up sometime this week!)


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